resolution time

New Year’s Eve  has arrived, and it is time for resolutions! I’m so happy that I can end 2011 happy with myself and with my accomplishments. The journey continues into 2012. I’m ready for the new year and to see what new things I can accomplish.

Here are some of my New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Keep finding ways to stay motivated

2. Help my family eat healthier

3. Go to sleep on time and wake up on time!

4. Pray with more purpose and more often

5. Write more

6. Find ways to show my love for others

What do your resolutions look like? I hope that you can reach your goals this new year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

3: a rant from a supposed hypocrite

Repentance. The simplest definition of repentance is to change direction. I’m going down one road; I realize I’m on the wrong road, and so I decide to change my direction toward the right road. I repented. 180-ed. Had a change of heart. So why does it feel that you’re a hypocrite for changing your mind? Everyone has the right to change their mind, right?

I’m battling this at the moment. My problem roots from today’s events at lunch. I went home to eat lunch. My daughter is home because she’s off from school. When she’s home my in-laws take care of her because my husband and I work full-time. She excitedly tells me that she is having fast food again for lunch today. She had Mc Donald’s yesterday for lunch, and today she’s eating Burger King. It made me cringe on the inside, but the child has to eat and I couldn’t take it out of her mouth.

Our family dynamic is quite peculiar, and because of that it has led my husband and I to take advantage of it in the past. Thankfully, my little one has grandparents who are ga-ga about her and take care of her. This has led us to leave her with them more than the “norm”.  Due to this fault, there is a big blur with authority lines, and leaves me feeling like a huge hypocrite at times. I can’t completely keep my in-laws from buying fast food if they’re all eating together. And I’m not becoming fanatical in saying that just because I’m trying to steer clear from the junk food that Andrea can never have it either.

So, what does this have to do with repentance? My change in diet has been for me alone. I’m the one that has to lose weight. However, the more I learn about food and the healthier I eat, the more I want to pass the knowledge along to my family. I repent from eating fast food everyday. I repent for being a junk food enabler to my husband. Now I want to repent for passing on such a horrible habit to my daughter.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am a wimp that runs from confrontation. I want to repent, but changing the rules from one day to the other feels hypocritical. What was that thing again about convictions? Not everyday is going to be perfect, and on this new journey there is going to be a lot of trial and error…BUT I can’t let other people’s opinions change my convictions or what I know to be best for my daughter.

I’m glad I write these things down, or I would never put my lessons into practice. Thanks for listening to my rant. I’ll let you know how this plays out.

1: back to work, brand new year

I go back to work tomorrow after a 5 day holiday weekend. It was nice to be away from work, and I loved being with my husband and daughter. Christmas was an enjoyable blur filled with shopping, food and family. I feel like I need another day to myself just to recover! I’m glad though, I must admit, that I’m going back to my regular routine. It’s easy to fall into laziness and over indulgence if you’re not prepared.
……

December and 2011 is practically over, and I’m looking forward to ending this year positively. I’m pretty use to looking at the year with regret, but not this time. I can’t say enough how important it is to change your thought process, when it comes to yourself. It lightens a huge part of the weight loss load. Now I can start a brand new year with brand new insight. I am hopeful!

My resolutions for the new year don’t have to be about weight loss, for once. I have embraced the journey and new life style. And though I still many things to learn, I can focus energy on to other important things. I am praying that this new year will be filled with more resurrection, deeper and a more abundant godly and healthy life!

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40: ending and starting again

Today marks the end of, not only the 14 day challenge but also the second 40 day round. Fourteen pounds in fourteen days was not accomplished, neither was the size fourteen. However, my body continues to change and my mind does too! Working out practically every day was a big thing for me. I don’t think I could keep up that kind of schedule forever, but it did show me a lot about myself. I have a wonderful handful of people who are pushing me, supporting me and cheering me on. Yet I find myself pushing myself and cheering myself on more than ever before! That is a major mile stone for me. Not every day is filled with energy and focus, but I have been learning to push through the haze of weariness and excuses. I love it!

I begin the 3rd round of 40 days tomorrow, and my husband should be joining me! Yay! I’m looking forward to being on this journey with him. I love that we can share common things together. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it makes me the happiest person in the world. I’m excited to see what these next 40 days bring. I start tomorrow, December 27th, and they end February 4th. The journey just keeps going. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Though it is important to set short-term goals, it is very important to keep in my mind that this life style change is for life. It doesn’t all change over night. It doesn’t all change in a month. It can be over whelming at times, yes, but nothing can compare to see how far you’ve come.

I am stronger, smaller :), smarter and more willful. More positive. When your mind changes any thing is possible. I am so thankful to God that he listens to my prayers as I eat, as I exercise…He is the one renewing my mind. I exercise and diet by faith, not by sight! Hahaha! 😉

I hope everyone had a great Christmas, and I hope that we are all able to wrap of this year, not with regret but with hope! Faith, hope and love will get us all through! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

36: feelings, nothing more than feelings

I felt a lot yesterday. I didn’t feel like going home and making lunch. I didn’t feel like working out (which I did any way!). Feel. I didn’t feel like it. When I say it, it sounds like I’m whining. “I don’t feeeel like it.” It’s like I got a Kardashian in my head.

It is true that no one (not even yourself sometimes) can make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you really don’t want to do something, you won’t do it, and vice versa. With that being said though, we cannot let ourselves be run by our emotions. Following my “feelings”, my emotions, has gotten me in to a lot of trouble.

We say,”Follow your heart!” We promote making decisions based on emotions instead of reality or practicality. The Bible says that the heart is deceitful.(Jeremiah 17:9) It also says that we should protect our hearts because life issues are stirred by it.(Proverbs 4:23) Our hearts can sway us and at the same time betray us.

I’m still learning to weigh the consequences of my decisions before I make them. Being lead by whims can lead into habits that are hard to break. So let’s take moments to pause for a second and think things through. Don’t let yourself fall victim to a betraying emotion. Next time you feel something, think about that something!

I’m trying to make wise choices, while trying to reconcile my brain and my heart. I pray that you can do the same.

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35: d’oh! (lesson learned)

I think this pictures expresses all that I want to say for today! I made a calorie boo-boo at lunch. Just a about 50 minutes ago, to be exact.

Lunch time was upon me. I wasn’t all too hungry yet, nor was I feeling any kind of hankering. I was in “lunch-funk”. I didn’t feel like going home and eating (or making for that matter) a tuna sandwich. I didn’t want to eat Subway either. I had that yesterday. I knew for a fact that I could not and would not eat any kind of fast food. So as I drove up the road I decided on Quizno’s.

I ordered myself a small turkey, bacon guacamole sub. My first mistake. Then I decided to purchase an Izze Clementine drink. My second mistake. Then, to top it off, I ordered a small broccoli and cheese soup. First “D’oh!”: I paid $9 and some change for lunch. Makes me want to smack myself when I think about that.

So I get to work and start munching. I scarf down my sub. It’s so delicious. I sip on my drink. It’s so delicious. I start on my soup. It’s so delicious. Oh! You know what I should right now, before I finish. I should input my calories so far on Live Strong. <—- So naive and clueless I am. Turkey Sub: 423 calories, 1789mg Sodium. Oh well, that’s over and done with. Sparkling Clementine: 120 calories, 27g of Sugar. WHAT?! I knew this..why in the world did I pick up this evil drink?! I only drank half and dumped the rest. Broccoli Cheese Soup: 140 calories, not bad considering it has cheese in it. The soup was the least of my problems. When I input all the calories, including my breakfast I would have consumed 1188 calories! So I dumped the rest of my drink and threw away a little more than half of my soup;  only saving myself 130 calories!

“D’oh!” I could smack myself! I shoulda gone home for lunch. I shoulda eaten the tuna. Now I gotta make sure I get a good burn. Life is filled with shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. But now that it’s done. It’s done. Lesson learned. I can’t afford to make mistakes like this with the 14 day mission, but this is a life long journey. I can’t take it back, but I can learn for next time.

 Walking track here I come. You have permission to kick my butt.

32: pants parade

Woot! Woot! Today I have jumped over another hurdle. I discovered that I have dropped a pant size! I have gone from a size 18 to a size 16!! I had already retired a pair of wide-leg dress pants because they went from fitting wide to gaucho. I have 2 pairs of dress pants that are a size 18. They are bootcut style. Now those are fitting loose around the waist and bagging at the thighs.

I went to New York and Company to buy some accessories, but when I got there the pants caught my eye. I picked up the 16’s. I figured if they didn’t fit, I would just put them back. No biggie. I pulled up the pants, and like magic they fit like a glove.

I danced in the dressing room with silly excitement. I accomplished dropping a size in a matter of a week! This is something that I have tried in the past several times, with no luck. I literally have worked my butt OFF! Haha!

This is great motivation to start my second week. I must admit, as hard as I’ve worked, I still have had some craving battles. It’s a battle of will and discipline. So far, I’m winning!

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31: accomplished and still going

It has been an amazing and grueling week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so physically energized and tired at the same time! It’s been totally worth it though. I’m happy to report that in just my first 4 days of working out (everyday) I lost 2.6 pounds! That brings it up to 10 pounds total since I started! Mini wave in celebration of me! I initially weighed myself Sunday morning, after a long week of doing nothing. I started the week at 215.4 pounds. By Thursday morning, I weighed 212.6 pounds. It was exciting to see such major progress! I didn’t want to weigh myself at all till the 26th, but my trainer thought it would be a good eye opener for me. And it was. Now, I’m just trying to get my mind off the numbers and just stay focused on the work.

I knew that losing weight would be hard. I had no idea how hard it would actually be. I read a question on a running website a few weeks ago, “When does it get easier?” They answered, “It never really gets easier.” I believe that. You can feel accomplished. You can feel strong. You can feel fast. But when you push yourself beyond your limits, it will always be hard. Once you’re done jumping one hurdle, you see that there are many others to jump over. Yet, if you’re focused and determined, even through the pain, it will hurt so good!

If Fear can get you to turn around and walk the other way, it has done it’s job. What it rarely expects is for you to run towards it head on. Conquering fear is a game of “Chicken”. Who’s gonna flinch first? Who’s gonna give way to the other? The key is to always have in mind what is at stake. What is your goal? What is your mission? What are the consequences of giving up?

I have spent the majority of my 20’s over weight and at least 3/4 of it over 200 pounds. Enough is enough! When will it be enough for you? I ain’t stopping till I get what I want. Those who are persistent get the prize! I’m killin’ it, and I’m still going strong! I hope you’re doing the same.

 

28: so tired

I really can’t say any more. The title says it all. I’m tired. So tired. It’s the end of day 2, and I feel like I could sleep for a week! I worked out Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today. And it hasn’t been puppy dog tails and rainbows. These work outs have been limit pushing; more reps, further lengths, shorter times.

Last night I was on cloud 9 from my walk/jog. Though I had pushed my body last night, by cutting down my time, at the end I felt like I could of jogged another lap! Today I got on that track and pushed my body just to walk briskly. I jogged today, but not nearly as long or as hard. And it didn’t take long for the sweat to pour down my face. But I pushed through the fatigue and finished strong at 70 minutes. Right on target!

Once my head hits the pillow I will be gone. Tomorrow is another day. *sigh* Bring it!

Good night! Zzzz…

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27: scared but determined

Day 1 of this 14 day challenge I started on.

I have been anxious all day today. First of all, I worked out hard last night, so I woke up incredibly exhausted and sore this morning. All morning long I thought about today’s workout..all week’s workouts. I am still a little perplexed at how I’m going to workout everyday.

I know that I have to just get over myself, but the task seems so daunting, especially if you’ve never done anything like this before.

Good news though! No, scratch that. GREAT news! I finished my 4 miles today under 70 minutes; 69 minutes to be exact! 😉 I pushed for that. I walked hard and jogged longer than ever before. When I was finishing the first lap of the 4th mile, Fire Work was blasting in my head phones, and I was literally laughing as I jogged! I was so elated to see myself accomplishing my goals, for once. I know I had to look like a crazy person, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the rush, the strength I felt!

This CAN be done! It’s scary as hell, yes. But it can be done! Watch me do it!

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