3: a rant from a supposed hypocrite

Repentance. The simplest definition of repentance is to change direction. I’m going down one road; I realize I’m on the wrong road, and so I decide to change my direction toward the right road. I repented. 180-ed. Had a change of heart. So why does it feel that you’re a hypocrite for changing your mind? Everyone has the right to change their mind, right?

I’m battling this at the moment. My problem roots from today’s events at lunch. I went home to eat lunch. My daughter is home because she’s off from school. When she’s home my in-laws take care of her because my husband and I work full-time. She excitedly tells me that she is having fast food again for lunch today. She had Mc Donald’s yesterday for lunch, and today she’s eating Burger King. It made me cringe on the inside, but the child has to eat and I couldn’t take it out of her mouth.

Our family dynamic is quite peculiar, and because of that it has led my husband and I to take advantage of it in the past. Thankfully, my little one has grandparents who are ga-ga about her and take care of her. This has led us to leave her with them more than the “norm”.  Due to this fault, there is a big blur with authority lines, and leaves me feeling like a huge hypocrite at times. I can’t completely keep my in-laws from buying fast food if they’re all eating together. And I’m not becoming fanatical in saying that just because I’m trying to steer clear from the junk food that Andrea can never have it either.

So, what does this have to do with repentance? My change in diet has been for me alone. I’m the one that has to lose weight. However, the more I learn about food and the healthier I eat, the more I want to pass the knowledge along to my family. I repent from eating fast food everyday. I repent for being a junk food enabler to my husband. Now I want to repent for passing on such a horrible habit to my daughter.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am a wimp that runs from confrontation. I want to repent, but changing the rules from one day to the other feels hypocritical. What was that thing again about convictions? Not everyday is going to be perfect, and on this new journey there is going to be a lot of trial and error…BUT I can’t let other people’s opinions change my convictions or what I know to be best for my daughter.

I’m glad I write these things down, or I would never put my lessons into practice. Thanks for listening to my rant. I’ll let you know how this plays out.

Advertisements

About Alejandra
I am a mother and wife. I work a regular 9-5. I love writing, whether if it's to vent, inspire or to just be creative. I can come from many different angles, but one thing is for sure. It's all me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: