35: the basics kicking my butt, i love it!

As I said I decided to go “back to basics”. My workouts and meals have gotten stale. I have been feeling a little too comfortable, and the workouts haven’t been feeling hard at all. So, I pulled out an old workout routine to do at home. It’s filled with lunges, squats, squat jumps, jumping jacks, push ups and things of that nature. An hour later, my legs feel like jello and like I could keel over. That’s a workout!

Sweat pouring down my face. Heavy breathing. Chugging water. Now all I want to do is crawl in to bed and crash. I definitely have not been pushing my body to the limit this past month. But I’m ready to rev it up again! My 4th round of 40 days is starting on February 5th. I can’t slack off because I still have much more to go.

I have been feeling good and light (literally). I’m so happy to have reached this 40 day goal of being a solid size 16! But I can’t get comfortable. I’ve lost 13.5 pounds (yay!), yet I still have 66 more pounds to go!

Have you been reaching your goals, or have you fallen into a comfy slump? Get yourself in gear! Keep pushing! We can’t stop! This way of living is for life, beyond weight loss; this is about giving yourself the chance to LIVE!

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33: losing steam…time to reevaluate

January has kind of slipped by me. My work outs and meals haven’t been as intense. I have accomplished some pretty amazing things these last 33 days, but it seems that just in the last few weeks I’ve lost steam. I don’t crave fast food any more. I love and get excited about working out. However, I can’t help but feel this sense of apathy. I didn’t work on my fitness challenge at all. That’s a goal busted. But before I go into another 40 day cycle, I’m going to take this last week to reevaluate my routines, workouts and meals.

I’m slowly and steadily losing weight; slow, steady and even. This next round I’m going to shoot for inches instead of pounds. I’m pulling out old routines and will get back to calisthenic basics. I’m seeing lunges, push ups and squats once again in my near future. My meals need to be planned meticulously once again. Basics, make sure I have my proteins, healthy fats and no carbs (bread, pasta or rice) after 3pm.

Funny. Getting back to basics has become a running theme in my entire life, right now. Knowledge is power, and advancement is wonderful, but we must beware of neglecting basic platforms, standards, foundations. Little cracks here and there can cause major damage! So stay focused, and check that the basic principles are still in check. Basics, though sometimes boring, build character and discipline. Proper weight loss and a healthy life style cannot be built without character and discipline.

I know that getting back to the basics will help keep the steam rolling and the energy pumping!

Keep the engine rolling!

23: let’s do it!

I’m halfway through this 40 day cycle, and at times it has felt like, ‘same ol’ same ol’.” Food and excercise trends are becoming habits, in a good way. And yet… I’m having an unsettling feeling at the moment. It’s a strange feeling of “looking back”.  Not giving up, just kinda like…how can I explain it?


The feeling kind of reminds me of the Israelites in the desert. After a couple of weeks of being “stuck” in the desert, though totally free from slavery, the Israelites began to whine. Paraphrasing of course, “Oh, how we miss Egypt. The food, the meat, the veggies…” TOTALLY forgot about the back-breaking labor FORCED upon them. I’m feeling a little that way now. “Oh, Wendy’s, how I miss your double stacks. So tasty, so yummy…” TOTALLY forgetting the havoc they caused my stomach, how miserably bloated and slow they made me.

Any loss of focus, on the bigger picture, can cause us a temporary loss of sanity. This is the time to be the most cautious! Laser beam focus is what is required. I’m starting a 2 week challenge, to end these 40 days with a positive bang! For the rest of this week, I’m going to plan my meals with precision, and work out 6 times a week. No excuses to miss a work out. I have not joined a gym yet, and still go back and forth on it. I know that I can do all my work outs at home or at the park. It’s time to get it right, get it tight!

Do what you must to stay focused on your goals! You can do this! I can do this! Let’s DO this!

18: a relationship for life

Today I enjoyed an awesome, wonderfully creamy Oreo Cookie shake. That’s right, a cookie shake. And you know what the best part about it was? There was no guilt or downward spiral of regret. What a wonderful thing to eat something that you like and not feel that you owe anyone an explanation. Is this some sort of rebellion? No. Am I turning away from healthy eating? No. Then what?! I am walking down a road of reconciliation. I’m fixing my relationship with food.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not planning on making this cookie shake thing a habit. I am only sharing the fact that it’s okay to like and enjoy what you’re eating, in moderation of course. I am someone (I’m sure like most people) that enjoys their food. I was raised by two women whose cooking skills were and are second to none! My grandma cooked and baked for a living, and she was amazing at it. My mom has a tremendous palate, and is an “Iron Chef” in her own right! The foods I grew up on were always home cooked, nothing frozen, full of flavor! I could never eat healthy food just for health’s sake. I’m sorry. Food may be fuel, but it doesn’t just fuel your body; it fuels your life.

Holidays, birthdays, any kind of celebration is enjoyed with food! Then on the other hand: sadness, stress and anxiety are suppressed with food. We tend to place food on a strange pedestal most of the time. Either way, it becomes a source of comfort, a channel for our emotions. When we’re not careful the foods that we love can transform into the things that we loathe the most. Then just like any unhealthy relationship, we can’t seem to break free.

Hamburgers have always been my favorite food since I can remember. However, growing up I never really ate that much fast food. My mom let me have fast food on the weekends or if I was sick (it was a comfort when I started to feel better). When I finally had my own car and had my own money, I went hamburger crazy! I ate what I wanted, whenever I wanted! I loved it! Then it happened. I became addicted. Addicted to the sugar. I started putting on weight fast, and began to suffer from migraines from the sugar lows and highs. Though I felt miserable, I couldn’t stop eating the junk food. I suffered with that for 10 years. As much I wanted to lose the weight and get away from the food that was killing me… I couldn’t make a clean break. My emotions were shattered. I was confused, and it was so horrible that many times I would have mini break downs in the grocery store. I didn’t know what to eat or how to eat any more. Everything I wanted seemed toxic and wrong. Everything I needed seemed bland and boring. I couldn’t commit to that.

My main problem was that I just didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, period. It seemed to taunt me and invite me in at the same time. I hated it, and I hated myself for being so confused. I knew from the very beginning of this journey that I had to finally attack to root of my problems. Losing weight is not a superficial thing. Some times we have no clue how emotionally trying the battle can be. But the battle isn’t against food. It is against the stigma we put on food, or certain foods. I don’t want to believe or live in an “all or nothing” attitude when it comes to eating. I want to have knowledge to make informed decisions. Because when it comes down to it, every pound lost is because of a choice made. You and I hold the power over food, not vice versa.

I have made small choices over the past 3 months that have resulted in big wins for me. Yes, I did have to get away from the fast food. It is a horrible lie we tell ourselves that our (bad) eating habits don’t have to change in order to lose weight. You end up frustrated, and probably heavier than you started. The science behind weight loss isn’t complicated or mystical. Eat less, move more. Yet if you don’t fix your relationship with food, eating less will not be enough! Find out how food works. What is a carbohydrate? How does protein work? What’s so great about fiber? Read labels. Do research. Find healthier alternatives. Fill your mind with knowledge, and then feed your body tasty nutritious foods that make you feel good.

Also, don’t be afraid of cravings. Some times after I work out I want a juicy steak or hamburger. However, I know I can’t go to Wendy’s and get a combo meal that will wreck what I accomplished working out. So I try to make a healthier version of it. I still get what I crave (which is really protein), but I don’t obliterate myself with high calories. What happens though when you know that the healthier version just wont cut it? Be smart. Make a plan. Get a kid’s meal. Or don’t order the double or the triple burger. Get the single burger with a side salad instead of fries. Or if you don’t want a salad, just get the small burger and call it a day. Then after all that… don’t make yourself miserable with guilt. If you know that you’re going to feel guilty, then just say “No.” Because then you probably didn’t need the burger in the first place. And this comes from first hand experience.

I took time out to separate my emotions from fast food and cut it out. I know my limits. I have pretty much come to a point where I really don’t crave it any more. Actually, some times just thinking about the greasy food makes my stomach hurt. Yet, I don’t trash talk it or bash it. Because some times, I go back for a little visit. But I know better now. So I can have a Oreo cookie shake and not feel like I wrecked my progress. Love what you eat, or don’t eat it any more. Eat what you love, or you wont want to eat right any more.   It is what it is, as my husband says. It’s a shake. I drank it. I enjoyed it. I moved on. Tomorrow is another day to eat healthy. Tomorrow is another day that is not filled with confusion; just an honest to goodness, healthy reconciled relationship with food.

16: wearing a 16 on the 16th day

Wow! I comfortably wore a size 16 shirt and pants on the 16th day of this 40 day round! I didn’t even plan that. I can’t say that I’ve achieved the goal of being a size 16 fully, but I’m well on my way. When I bought my button down top 2 weeks ago, it was a little snug around my middle, but it fit nonetheless. This morning when I put it on for work, not only did it fit, it fit loose around the middle! This pushes me so hard because in all the times that I’ve yo-yo-ed in my weight, my clothes never went down in size! I’m heavier than I was the last time I tried to diet, but I’m smaller. So weird and so amazing the way the body works. Maybe by the end of these 40 days will I not only be a size 16, maybe I’ll be in between a 16 and a 14!

it’s a celebration! (I’m a bad mama jama)

I achieved my 1st mini goal! I lost the 1 pound I need to get over the 211 hump! I was so excited when I stepped off the scale early this morning; I was dancing up a storm in my bathroom! And I don’t know why, but I also decided to celebrate with singing “Peanut butter, Jelly and a Baseball Bat.” It was the first song to pop into my head at 6:30 in the morning! Haha!

I must admit that I didn’t think I was going to lose the pound. My weight has been fluctuating between 211 & 213 a lot lately. Between bloat and muscle gain it has been quite a weight loss match. But no matter the doubt I had before, I am definitely feeling like a “Bad Mama Jama” now! Please celebrate the little things, ok? It helps keep things exciting and the goals attainable.

I am ready now to keep pushing toward the next mini goal…maybe 2 pounds? Let’s do some work! I hope you’re achieving your goals no matter how great or small. We can do this!

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12: staying motivated

Seven days into the new year…How are you doing? What are you doing so far to make 2012 better than 2011? I’m still steady on my weight loss journey. Nothing exciting to report on from the last time I was here. I’m still trying to find ways to stay motivated, which I believe is one of my resolutions. I’m trying to keep my workouts interesting and fresh. I’ll be starting Zumba next week, which I’m very excited about. It’s a great way to get some cardio in, and it’s so much fun! Also, I started walking with some ladies from my office. It’s nice to have people to chat with while on the track. Some days I have trouble getting around the track just once. So talking and laughing is a good way to get my mind off how I’m feeling.

That’s the biggest reason I want to keep finding ways to stay motivated. Emotions are tough to battle. Not impossible to defeat, but definitely tough to battle against. I was thinking again this morning about my goals, and though I have weight loss goals, weight loss cannot be my ultimate goal. Because once you lose the weight, then what? I believe that’s the number one reason why people can’t keep weight off once they lose it. There is no next step. They achieved their goal and there’s nowhere else to go. I have come to love working out. It isn’t always fun, but I love the way I feel. I love feeling strong. I love feeling energetic. I love actually feeling lighter and smaller! Losing the 80 lbs I need to lose is only the beginning.  maintenance is the real journey! I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, though.

I love these 40 day rounds. Every 40 days I decide on a new goal, and in between those days I find myself making mini goals to accomplish. My goal for these forty days is to be a solid size 16. Not in between 16 and 18, but a straight up 16! So far I have one pair of work pants and a button down shirt that are a 16. They fit alright, still a little snug, but definitely wearable. I don’t look stuffed like a sausage! lol Right now for my mini goal I’m just trying to get off the 11 pound hump. I’m 211 right now. I want to be 210 by Tuesday! I’ve been eating pretty good and getting my workouts in, but I struggle staying motivated because I’m building muscle, so the scale doesn’t move very much. I keep trying to remember that weight is just a number, but when you’re trying to get down to a healthy weight, it can be frustrating a bit. So that’s where I am right now. Moving forward slowly but surely but moving!