I am a two days over the half way mark of this 40 day round. What else is there to say, but that it has been a total bust thus far. I planned this round out beautifully! I had all my workouts written out on my calendar, scheduled. I had my food ready. I was determined. Remember? I was supposed to be 200 pounds by the 1st of March. Bahahahaha!  Yeah, that’s not going to happen this time around. I digress though; let me start from the beginning.

As I said, I had everything planned out. I even joined the gym! I worked out hard my first workout there. I was killing it on the treadmill doing intervals. But by the time I was done, I could feel the creeping on of sickness. My throat was feeling sore. By the next morning, my tonsils were swollen, I had a fever, and that was that. I had to recuperate. I was pretty sick for about 4 or 5 days. So I didn’t workout at all. Then when I finally started getting some strength back, I still had to take it pretty easy. That was a speed bump all in itself. However…..

Ugh…I was sick, and when I’m sick I can’t eat salad! I want comforting burgers, fries, milk shakes….You can see where this is going, right? Needless to say that my eating habits went completely AWOL. I can’t believe it. Three weeks completely wasted, and I have nothing to say for myself. I gained 2 pounds. So instead of 7 pounds to get through to hit my goal mark, now I’m back up to almost 10. I am thankful though, that this time around, my mind-set is different. I will not beat myself up (more than I already have), and I will just hit that reset button.

Oh, those dreaded excuses and comfort zones. What first comes to my mind is a Bible verse that reads, “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else.” (1 Corinthians 10:12 the message) I was feeling myself pretty hard up until this point. I was thinking that I had it. I was a health queen! Boy, did I disprove that. However, the point of this verse isn’t to make one feel bad, but to open our eyes to truth. No one is exempt from temptation or weakness. Anyone of us can make a bad decision at any point. We always have to be aware. We always have to have a plan. We always have to be responsible.

So beware of those speed bumps and comfort zones. Always have a plan of attack! And if you happen to go off track, HIT THAT RESET BUTTON!


let me tell you how desperate I am..

.. to workout, that is. Yes, I believe I truly am addicted to working out. I want to do some kind of exercise almost every day. It’s worse when I know that I can’t, for whatever reason.

The reason I can’t today? I’m sick. Boo. I had a mild cold last month. I got Sean sick, and his friend from work is sick too. Sean got it bad, and then gave it back to me! Apparently the cold is a sharing type creature, and is not aware of the “no touch backs” rule. My tonsils are swollen, my nose is stuffy and when I sneeze my inner ear burns.

I started to feel the swelling yesterday after my workout at the gym. Then I really felt it after yoga. So, to keep from getting worse and keep me from not working out any longer, I can’t work out today. And THAT makes me sad.

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ready to work my way down the scale

Before my workout. Determined!

It’s like deja vu, and the 4th round of 40 days are on a roll.

I have a pretty ambitious goal this month. I finally want to break down the wall and hit the 200 mark. In the past, the closest I’ve ever come to 200 lbs has been 203. I have never been able to get past the barrier. I don’t know why. Some times it felt like enough. Other times, I would let myself slip into conformity. I’m trying to make sure that doesn’t happen. My antenna is up, and I’ve been able to catch apathy slipping in here and there. Up to this point, I’ve been able to work past it.

Now that I’ve finally gone down a size in clothes, I see that the hard work (and it is hard!) is paying off and totally worth it. I laugh now to myself when I hear people talking about diet pills and surgeries. I don’t knock people for trying to find their way, or judge those who go under the knife…all I can do is compare and contrast my own experiences. Pills and surgeries are all well and good, but they don’t teach you anything. Pills and surgeries don’t teach you the importance of fitness and diet. They don’t teach you how wonderful food is for the body. They don’t teach the wonders of your muscles and  their functions. And they most certainly don’t teach you anything about self-control or self-love.

I had a problem with self-control. I had a problem with laziness. I had a problem with confronting my core issues. Do I slip now and again? Yes. I’m human. I will fall, but I tell you what..I’m done beating myself down. I get up, and do more lunges! 🙂

Anyway…like I was saying. I am going for an ambitious goal. I want to get to or break 200 pounds by March 1st. I have about 6-7 pounds to go. That all depends if I’m bloated, muscles heavy from working out, or just ate way too much the night  before. I believe I can do it. I have the tools I need, and I know how to use them! I printed out my new 40 day calendar, marked my work outs on it, and set my goals. I’m very  much afraid. To make sure I hit this, I have to make sure that I work as hard as I possibly can. And it’s a fine line between working hard and exhausting yourself. I want to push my body to the limit, but I don’t want to take on too much and give up when it gets too difficult, either.

I signed Sean and myself up for the gym today. I’m a little apprehensive. I’ve been doing so well at home. I don’t want to have the membership and not use it because I am working out at home. Neither do I want to want to have the membership and not use it because now I feel like I have to go to the gym. I devised a work out plan that I can combine the two. I have grown to love working out in my room. I have my dumb bells, resistance bands and my own body weight to lug around. The routines have proven themselves. But I guess it isn’t bad to have a back up on days when the home routine feels stale. Mixing up the routines helps keep the motivation train rolling. I don’t ever want to the routines to get bland or boring. I want to find the challenge in every workout. I want to bust my butt and know that…I’m busting my butt!

So here I go…on my way down, down, down the scale. I’m ready to work!

….I made a new workout routine for the house. It was killer, and I loved it! Yoga tomorrow.


After my workout. Success!



40: end of the 3rd round, a look back and a look forward

I am so happy that this round is over. I have found a lot of success, but I also encountered a comfort zone. I don’t want to get comfortable where I am because I know I have a long way to go. I’m ready to set some new goals! Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?

Making the choice to change!

All I can say about this first picture is, “Wow!” I am definitely not this girl any more. I went back and read some of my first posts on this blog, and I was so depressed and so lost. I am no longer depressed! I am no longer lost and depleted of hope. I have nothing but hope and confidence in my ability! That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days that are hard,  or that there aren’t times that I’m afraid about reaching my goals. I have just learned to no longer beat myself up and put myself down. If you continue down a road of self loathing, you’ll find yourself in a larger pit than you bargained for!

Seeing changes, the fire is burning!

Haha! This is the good stuff! I have to totally brag on myself! There are times where I can’t see or feel a difference, and these pictures say it all! “The proof is in the pudding!” I am so elated because in all my times of trying to get rid of the weight, I have never, never seen a change like this. I did this! I accomplished this! I keep these pictures as a reminder, not just of where I’ve been, but what I can do! However, I am ready to retire this shirt. I have found a new reference and motivational point.


New shirt, new goals

This is the new picture that I’ll be making my comparisons to. I was given this shirt, almost a year ago now, and when I got it I couldn’t even button it! It barely fit in the shoulders and chest. Obviously, I can get it on with no problem. You can’t see it too much in this picture, but the buttons are the verge of popping off still. I like this picture (I can’t believe I would ever say the following) because you have a good shot of the belly bulge. It’s hard to attack that belly fat. I know it’s going to be the last to go. As long as it’s shrinking, I’ll be happy.

At the beginning of these 40 days I weighed 214.8 lbs. Today, I end the 40 days weighing in at 206.8 lbs! An 8 pound loss! A 16 pound loss in total! I did say in the last post that I didn’t want to focus on pounds this time, but with only six pounds to go to break 200 lbs….I can’t miss the opportunity to set goals to finally obliterate my clinically obese weight! Round 4 officially begins tomorrow, February 5th, and goes till March 15th. I can’t wait to see what I accomplish! I use this blog to motivate myself, but I always hope and pray that you can find some motivation in my success too. I know what it’s like to hate yourself. I know what it’s like to try and try and never see a result. But now I know what’s like to really work, take up responsibility and succeed! I can do it! You can do it! We can do it!