it’s a new day (letting go and moving on)

I need to be thankful for every new day. Every morning that I wake up is a miracle. Everyday is another day to do better. Everyday I receive is another chance to accept myself. What does every new day bring about for you? Is it dread, fear, regret? Or is it determination, courage and hope? I know that I have come along way in resurrecting myself since I first started this blog, but this past 40 day round showed me that there is still more to do. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever really be done resurrecting the girl. As long as I live this life, here on this earth, there will always be obstacles, trials and new things to do and learn.

As much as I lamented over doing nothing the past month, I can’t take for granted the things that it showed me. I was still struggling with insecurity and was waning in the courage it takes to fight everyday for what I need.

Last night, I confronted a bout of insecurity. One thing that I really hate is feeling inferior. And if you know anything, the only person that can keep you feeling this way is yourself. I know someone who started losing weight right around (one of the many times) when I was trying to lose weight. This person worked hard for sure, and excelled and seemed to get very good results fairly quickly. I was impressed, admired their hard work and dedication; and yet, I felt resentment, jealousy and inferiority. I felt damaged and supremely insecure. I couldn’t stand to be around this person. Though they never knew it, nor ever flaunted their success, I felt attacked. I felt cornered. It was disgusting.

 At the time though, my self-esteem was dragging through the mud. Yesterday I finally decided, enough was enough. I needed to speak to this person. Why? Because I needed their forgiveness. My own hang ups made me place them in a prison, and in turn locked me up as well. I wanted to be their friend, and I wanted to enjoy their company. So last night, I spoke with them, with much humility because this sort of confession is utterly embarrassing….and it was amazing. I set them free. I set myself free. They forgave me and loved me. Now I’m ready to start again without having to compare myself.

It’s tough not to look over at others and not compare yourself, but we need to learn to run our own race..even when everyone else is way ahead. I need to put things into perspective and learn to love myself, now, as I am. After every goal accomplished, I need to learn to love where I am, who I am and take that love into the next phase. I can’t control what other people are doing, or what other people think about me. I can only control what I think about myself. That is the only opinion that truly shapes me.

So let’s start everyday with new hope and courage; letting go of the past and looking forward to the future with faith, hope and love, in and for ourselves.

 

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About Alejandra
I am a mother and wife. I work a regular 9-5. I love writing, whether if it's to vent, inspire or to just be creative. I can come from many different angles, but one thing is for sure. It's all me.

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