real living

Bwahahahaha! With 16 days to go, it is needless to say that I wont be making my 8 pound goal. It’s all good though. Nothing wrong with reaching for the moon. Maybe I can do 8 pounds by labor day. As slowly as I lose weight, that is totally reasonable. I did lose 1.7 lbs. this week, though! Yay!

My goals need to become more reasonable, sure. In the meantime, I am enjoying the confidence that losing weight (and the work it is taking) is yielding. Beyond numbers, a healthy lifestyle brings about so much fun, enjoyable living! When I was in my teens, I was always the life of the party. I brought fun with me every where. After gaining weight and going through other personal blunders, who I truly was disappeared. Hence this blog! Thanks to God, I am finally seeing glimpses of the old me. Of course, older and wiser now, but I am still fun and can still be a life force of enjoyment for my friends! That to me, means more than 8 lbs lost in 4 weeks. This is real living!

 

On the sky deck @ the avenue hotel, Uptown Nola. Ready for a party!

 

At a girls night out, about 4(?) years ago, with Desiree “Hotness” Munoz-Grubb. Check out her blog http://www.operationhotnessblog.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

Resurrecting the girl & Operation: Hotness
It was a costume party..in case you’re wondering. lol

I am totally enjoying this life! Can’t wait to see what’s next!

.6

This was before my daughter’s swim lesson today.

 

I told you that losing half a pound is a good week for me. Twenty-two days left, and 7.4 pounds to go! Too funny. Oh well, it is what it is. Honestly, with no excuses, I didn’t do what I wanted for the first week. I completely forgot that my baby girl was starting swim lessons last week, and I didn’t plan my workouts ahead of time. I ate fried seafood like crazy over the weekend. So yummy, but definitely NOT what you should be eating when you’re trying to lose 8 pounds in 30 days.

.6 lost

I’ll take it!

With that being said though…I’m not quite sure how much I actually weigh. I’m getting numbers from all kinds of places. My actual weigh in day is Sunday, but I weigh in on Thursday evenings at my Weight Watchers meeting. Everyone knows that you weigh more at the end of long day! So even though it may reflect a loss, I can’t go by that number because it’s showing me at my heaviest. I don’t think so. There are two scales in our bathroom. One is my mother in law’s, the other is mine. Her’s is old. Mine isn’t so old, but it’s definitely time for an upgrade. I have had to take the average weight after weighing myself on both. Her’s makes me 2 pounds lighter, mine makes me 2 pounds heavier…and that’s if you can get an “accurate” number without ERR popping up on the screen. It’s a pain in the butt.

I weigh myself any time I see a scale. The average number is 198, but it would be nice to step on the scale and know for sure that the number is correct. I’m trying not to obsess over a number. (Too late, huh?) However, like I told my dear husband, I’m trying to reach a weight goal, and it would go a lot smoother if I could get a concrete NUMBER.

….

I started challenging myself in my workout, well, it’s a challenge to me. :-p I’m trying to walk/jog 2 miles at or under 35 minutes. For me that’s fast, and I’ve been doing real well. The last 2 times I worked out, I’ve done it under 35 minutes. First time at 33 min and today at 32 minutes! If I can keep that time up for a while, maybe next week I’ll shave off a minute.

So here goes week two! Come on 1 pound loss! I’ll leave you with this lovely picture of me working out, outside.

Working out on the levee. Attractive, I know!

 

 

time to focus, time to train

Okay, it’s “Eye of the tiger” time, people! I try to be goal motivated/oriented. I still have some time left in my 40 day round, however, I feel the need to stretch my mini goal a little further. This morning, when I woke up, I realized that my birthday is just around the corner. Thirty days, to be exact. And though I had a 7.5 lb. goal set for the end of the 40 days (June 19th), I haven’t been very focused on trying to reach that goal. I know that it’s time to kick it into high gear!

I discussed with my husband (some times it feels like a tribal council meeting) what would be a reasonable goal for me to set. So, I started wide and decided to narrow. Thirty days left till my birthday; 30 pounds in the 30 days? Extremely laughable. So, no. How about 15 pounds in 30 days? Still not possible and still a very unhealthy rate of weight loss for me. Next! Okay, 10 pounds in 30 days? Not bad, but at this point in the game, I have come to really know my body and the way it functions. I could not produce that number without some serious, serious help and time. Honestly, I know I’m still not that disciplined and I just want to live a normal life!!*sigh*

I got it! Eight (8) pounds in 30 days!

Okay, so 8 pounds isn’t much different from the 7.5 goal I had earlier. So, why didn’t I just stick with that number? Half a pound a week lost, is a great week for me. Rounding that 7.5 to 8 lbs is a challenge. Come on, 8 lbs. in 30 days, that’s 4 weeks. FOUR! That is 2 pounds a week. Ridiculous! So, yeah, I think I have my work cut out for me, people.

This is the plan: I have 30 days (4 weeks) to lose 8 lbs. by my birthday. To even come close to this, I must stay within my 30 daily Weight Watchers Point Plus Value. I cannot eat any junk food whatsoever, whether I have the points or not! I have to do cardio 5 times a week. I am going to be only drinking water, herbal tea and my 1 cup of morning coffee. No sodas, not even diet!…can’t handle the bloat. And even though I’m going to stay on top of my points, I will be challenging myself to eat 1 serving of fruit and/or vegetables at every meal. Fiber is your friend, people! 😉

One thing is for sure, I have to push myself. Even if I don’t hit the 8 lb. mark, 5 will get me into a size 16 jeans, with room to spare! But you never know what you’re capable of until you try. What do I have to lose by trying, other than weight and inches?

It’s gonna be a long 30 days.

mommy reflection and a new goal

Today is Mother’s Day. I woke up this morning truly happy and truly humbled, at the very thought of knowing I am a mom. I am not at all a perfect mom, and some days I don’t even feel like a good mom. However, my baby girl has found it in her heart to love me incredibly and unconditionally! I must be doing something right!

I think what I love the most about being a mom, besides all the free kisses, are the times when I actually impart knowledge to my daughter. It is rewarding to answer questions and actually see understanding on her face. She is a big reason that I am striving to live a healthy life, a full life; because she is my life.

My daughter has never known me thin or even known me at a healthy weight. When I became pregnant for her, I was already 45 lbs. over weight. By the time she was a year old, I was in the 200’s. Now I’m 199. I don’t think she fully understands the magnitude of that. She sees me battle, she sees me win. Thankfully, to her, I’m just Mommy. And that’s who I want to continue to be. Losing weight is giving me more energy to do things with her. It is giving me extra time to be with her.

…….

I’ve maintained 199 lbs for a whole week! It’s a slipper slope, that number. You could go either way. So I’m ready now to keep breaking down the weight loss wall. I set myself a 7.5 pound weight loss goal for this 40 day round. I feel like it’s rather ambitious, but I think I can do it. I haven’t worked out in 2 weeks and was still able to lose 3 lbs. just dieting! I’m ready to crank it up. I said once I broke 200 I would begin working on changing my body composition again. Shooting to be in a size 14 by June 19th. My birthday is June 26th, so if I could be 190 by my 29th birthday I will celebrate BIG TIME! Wish me luck, okay! ‘Cause I’m going to need it!!!

Oh, happy day! 199

Yesterday morning, I stepped on the scale, and to my ultimate surprise it finally read 199 pounds! One Hundred and Ninety-Nine pounds, people! This is an epic moment for me. I have been in the 200’s for at least the past 6 years. I have gotten close to breaking the 200’s and have never fully succeeded until now! It is mind-boggling to me. Almost like, I have no clue what to do with myself. So, in celebration of Me, I will go and buy a dress.

I really have to give major props to Weight Watchers. I joined on April 7th, and it has worked so well in helping me get out of that slump I fell into in February. I haven’t been working out so intensely, as before. When I joined WW’s, I told myself that I would just concentrate on just dropping actual pounds (as a posed to losing inches, like before), and then once I broke 200 pounds I would go back to working on changing my body composition (back to focusing on losing inches). I feel like now that I have taken down a piece of my weight loss wall, I can bulldozer the rest. Now it is time to set another weight loss goal. My birthday is coming up in June, and I would like to be 190 pounds by then. I’ll definitely settle for 195 and couple of shaved off inches, though. 😉

I have learned to be more creative with my food, when cooking. That has been a huge help for me. I want to enjoy my food, healthy or not. I love to savor my food. Eating is a total experience of all my senses. So, if you’re like me, don’t settle for only eating frozen diet meals! I eat those to if I don’t have time or don’t feel like making anything. However, I wouldn’t have made it this far alone on that! It’s boring, and sometimes not very good food.

Commercial time: What I love about Weight Watchers (and you don’t have to do WW’s to do this) is that you can eat anything. ANYTHING. So you have to decide what is worth to you to spend your points on. Before WW’s I had to decide what was worth to spend my calories on. If you’re not enjoying the food, you wont enjoy the process, and you will quit. I have had to experiment to make meals matter to me, and I have loved them! Here are a few. I hope that these may give you a few ideas, and if you have any ideas, please send them my way!

This was my breakfast this morning. I like to “splurge” on the weekend because during the week I drink breakfast smoothies.
1 large brown egg whole & 1 egg white. 1 tbs fresh salsa, piece of toast with goat cheese (it’s my favorite cheese!). A cup of strawberries and black berries, 8 oz of fat-free chocolate milk, and a cup of coffee (that I can’t do without) with a splash of milk, no sugar.

An apple & a plain turkey sandwich. What made it special for me was a nice slice of yellow bell pepper, gave it a good crunch.

I used a Morning Star chicken patty, 1 oz. goat cheese, 1/4 oz of avocado, red bell pepper and some spring mix. Colorful and creamy!

My baby girl loves tacos. So I substituted the hard taco shell for lettuce. Saves on points and calories. 2 oz. lean ground beef, 1/4 cup fat-free re-fried beans, 1/2 tbs plain Greek yogurt, a pinch of fat-free cheddar, and a few dots of Habanero sauce!

 

 

Same concept as before, but this time with 2 oz. of shrimp, grilled.

 

 

accountability… to yourself

What a novel concept, right? I admit that I am the first to laugh at the very thought of holding myself accountable to anything. Yet, it must happen. I know that I need to be held accountable in weight loss (and other things). That’s one of the reasons why I blog. I know that many could care less about what’s going on with me, but blogging helps me to check in (and hopefully encourage others).

Now, accountability partners are great! Find yourself a friend, your boy/girlfriend, or spouse to workout with. Maybe you need to get yourself a personal trainer. Having outside accountability is awesome support, but what about personal accountability? Accountability partners are great to start off with, but they wont be around all the time. And trust me, you can find a way to lie to them. This is why personal accountability is so important to master. You only hurt yourself with lies and excuses.

Learn to push yourself through your workouts without any one watching. Learn to make the right food choices on your own without any one nagging you to eat better. It’s gratifying to know that you’re making good decisions on your own. You reap the benefits of your choices, no one else. Knowing that you’re pushing yourself to be the best you can be will make you feel stronger and more confident. These feelings are important to me because when I feel strong and confident, I can embrace myself fully. Plus, it makes me feel thinner! So it’s win-win all around!

Don’t make any more excuses. Be honest with yourself and PUSH HARDER!

Mission 200

This Number is going to follow me wherever I go!

If you’ve been following me along, you know that I have been having some serious issues to stay motivated. I really fell off the health wagon hard, and it’s been real tough to get back on again. I’ve been dealing with my bouts of self-doubt and self-pity. Those are always so much fun. My weight has been fluctuating like crazy because of bloat, and my clothes are fitting tight, and I just do not want to go back to hating myself.

Yesterday, I took my daughter to a pool party. Thankfully, I did not have to get into the water. However, as I tried to pick out an ensemble, I stared blankly into my closet. Just a few weeks ago, I was going in there with confidence; now I am dismayed and heartbroken. Oh, how the mighty have fallen….

I confessed to my husband on Tuesday night, that I really just had no idea what my problem was. Why has getting down to 200 pounds been so difficult for me? Every time I have tried to lose weight, I get so close to 200 that I can practically reach out and touch it! Yet, when those last 4-6 pounds linger, something shifts in me. A wall goes up. And the pounds pack right back on. Maybe I just get too comfortable and lax. Maybe I get afraid.

I know that when I finally start getting some where, grasp a little confidence, that I go easy on myself. Let myself cheat here and there, till it’s practically all the time. I should know better, that when I get closer to the goal, that that’s the time to push harder! But I’m so afraid to fail. If you know me at all, you know that I’m a fatalist, and I really can’t stand that about myself. I see myself failing before I even try. It’s times like these that I know that I still have so far to go.

Well, as the saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And step I shall. I am restarting my 40 days (today actually), and taking the first step toward 200 pounds. Mission 200.

A Fatalist is anyone who submits to the belief that they are powerless to change their destiny. Is this who I am? I don’t want to get preachy, but I don’t want to submit to some insidious belief that has me pegged as weak and out of control of my life. If I am weak, I can grow strong. It is my destiny. My life. My body. My health.

So cue the music…because it’s on!