Instagram…

…is boring.

Well, maybe not entirely . I’m on instagram. I love looking at my friends pictures. I follow friends and celebrities. To me instagram is much more entertaining than twitter. I can’t keep up with most people’s tweets.

Just like on Facebook, some people post way too often. And I know twitter only gives you so many characters, but you have that much to say maybe you should be blogging. Actually, I take that back. If you have that much to say that is either entertaining, informative, or inspirational…then you should may want to consider blogging.

This is one of the reasons, instagram is the only social app I decided to keep. Some people can also post pictures like crazy, but pictures tell much better stories than any tweet or status update, in my humble opinion.

So why I do I say instagram is boring? Because I have way too many thoughts that I want to put out there with no picture available.

I miss Facebook for this reason. I don’t update all day, but I miss having an outlet to put out my little nuggets of wisdom, revelation and questions. On the flip side though, what really is my posting purpose?

Like I said in my last blog, I would post and then check and recheck if anyone had liked of commented. Just to have some validation. The most frustrating is when I would actually have a deep question or an urgent question, and people would just like it and give me no answers.

I don’t think social media helps us to develop socially. Some think that the power to post is to say whatever you want whenever you want. I’m all for free speech. However freedom comes with responsibility, and a lot of people on Facebook show me they have no discipline at all. Then others don’t respond in any way shape or form. They’re there to stalk and take stock of you …not to be your friend.

I do miss it though…

augh! *sigh*

Ugh….I feel like Charlie Brown, so disgusted and frustrated. Is it just me? I mean, am I the only one that gets comfy and stops trying? What is that?!

Every 5 pounds lost is a battle to lose, and once it’s lost I have to wage another battle to get off my behind. I have to battle all my will. It is just so frustrating.

I have been at 195 for a while now, just kind of yo-yo-ing in fluctuation. I haven’t been working out, I don’t want to count Weight Watchers PPVs, I don’t feel like eating healthy. It’s a freakin’ war in my head right now between what I know I should be doing and what I feel like doing. Because honestly, I want to eat healthier and be fit…so what is that? What is going on?

It happens every time. I just can’t seem to convince myself fully to have faith in the process and have conviction to make the correct choices. All is not lost though I guess, if I still have a glimmer of desire to live a healthy life. I am not powerless, and I refuse to let myself fall into the lies of fatalism. I am not a fatalist! I have the tools. I have the knowledge. All I need now is the courage.

*sigh* Thanks for letting me get all that out there.

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when life gives me food, I eat it…and now to start over!

It has been a crazy 11 days.

Last Tuesday was my birthday (the 26th). I started celebrating on the 24th by going out to eat at this restaurant called The Velvet Cactus. It’s supposed to be Mexican, but it’s more of a Nola-Mex if you ask me. Food was decent, atmosphere real cool. Afterwards, we (husband, kid and friends) went down to:

The best Italian ice cream in New Orleans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had the banana pudding gelato...Oh my word….’Nuff said.

Monday, I took off from work and a friend of mine took me out for lunch. I had shrimp quesadillas with a chipotle aioli. I ate it all up! Tuesday, a co-worker took me out for Mexican. Wednesday I chilled out and actually made it to the gym. Then Thursday I went out with some of my girls to The Rum House and had more awesome tacos, fried plantains and a beer. It was all so yummy.

Sunday afternoon, me and the family left for a little vacation station on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I feel like I haven’t stopped eating! It was all so good and yummy…but I think I’m actually growing tired of food, for now. I had started a new 40 day round last week, but looks like I’m going to have to reset my modem. My belly is feeling so yucky. My body feels sluggish. And on top of all that I have a cold. So I’m going to spend the next 4 days trying to cleanse my body a bit.

I need some apples. I need to make sure I drink plenty of water. Which reminds me that I need to pick up some Tazo Zen tea. My body and tummy perk up so much when I drink it. No crazy purges here, but I do need to “re-align” my stomach (and my schedule). I need to do a lot of tweaking to my food, exercise and personal schedule again. I feel like I’m always telling myself this, but if I don’t make lists, plans and memos, I’ll never get things done. Time to get things back on track!

 

 

mad crazy

It has been a crazy week for me, mad crazy week.

First off, I would love to report a 3 pound weight loss for this week! Talk about insanity! I, who can barely lose a pound on a good week, lost 3 pounds! I must say though, that it wasn’t without effort. I have been working out hard. I’ve been pushing myself on my walk/jogs on the treadmill or when I work out on the levee. I have been trying to walk 2 miles at or under 35 minutes. Plus, last Friday I not only did my 2 miles on the treadmill, I also did 3 miles in 20 minutes on the stationary bike, then came home and did 25 minutes of yoga! I may try make that a Friday ritual. I really enjoyed it.

Food-wise, I really haven’t been doing anything different. I’m still on Weight Watchers, so I keep track of my points or I do the Simply Full method. Simply Full is when you don’t necessarily keep track of points, but do eat as much food off the “power foods” list. Power foods are fresh/frozen fruits, veggies, lean proteins and grains.

However, if losing 3 pounds this week wasn’t crazy enough….I have been sick…I guess.

Friday or Saturday night the back of my head, around my left ear, felt tender to the touch. Though it kind of hurt, I just figured it was from all the headbands I had been wearing lately. I didn’t think much of it. Sunday night, I started feeling a worst pain. Now there was a pea sized knot behind my left ear. I went to work on Monday. The pain was mildly uncomfortable, but it was very uncomfortable to fall asleep. I couldn’t lay on my back because I would put pressure on the knot. I couldn’t lay on my side because my neck would stretch and a move the knot. It was not cool.

By Tuesday night, I was crying, praying… I didn’t know what to do. So I went to Urgent Care on Wednesday. Doctor checked my ears, nose and throat. Clear! I had no trouble swallowing. No fever. Blood pressure, good. My lymph node was swollen. Apparently, (I didn’t know this till recently) the lymph system is what flushes out impurities in your body. The lymph node behind my ear was trying to fight off a cold or a sore throat. Good catch, little guy! So, that’s why I guess I was sick..but not really. The doc gave me antibiotic/penicillin to take for 2 weeks clear out whatever was trying to attack me.

Yeah..mad crazy week.

another reflective & random thought

It has been a long weekend. I took a vacation day on Friday because my little one graduated from Kindergarten. Ugh. My baby (forever) is no longer a baby. I cried  a few times thinking about how much she’s grown already and how life just seems to whiz by. It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel excited for the future. It makes me feel, well, Old! But whatevs. My babygirl is now enjoying her summer vacation and is well on her way to college!

The more I think about her life passing before my eyes, the more it stresses within me to be a better example of a woman to her. I want her to see in me a healthy, energetic, smart, sane (as long as she let’s me be), and spiritually grounded person. It’s a hard task. By no means do I ever have a perfect day at any of these qualities I yearn to poses. However, as I teach her, I learn that you take every situation as it comes to you. Honestly, that’s what I want her to grasp. Life happens. It doesn’t ask for permission. So you have to take everything it throws at you with grace, humility and mercy (for yourself, and if you can muster it, for others as well).

I think that’s why this “dieting thing” has stuck as long as it has. I have learned to master, for the most part, self mercy. It goes a long way. Trust me. When you learn to have mercy on yourself, you can repent faster. When you learn to have mercy on yourself, you can start over again the very next meal. When you have mercy on yourself, you can see why it’s so important to pass it on to others.

…….

Thanks to that lesson learned, I am now down to 197.5 pounds. I’m hoping to be at 195 by the end of next week. I just have to survive another 3 day weekend. I am not yet prepared mentally to handle so much time at home, surrounded by all kinds of food, without having any activities planned. I told you the other day that I have a problem staying out of the kitchen when I’m bored….so I’m going to have to devise a plan this week before Memorial Day weekend catches me off guard! Any ideas?

 

sushi treat

Enjoying a lunch by myself of delicious sushi. Like anyone, when I first ate sushi I was scared and didn’t know what to expect. However, I was surprised and fell in major love with the delicacy.

Obviously, sushi is a healthy food choice on a diet. Of course, this is also avoiding fried, “crunchy”, mayo and cream cheese. I was afraid that maybe the rice would make it high in points, now that I’m on Weight Watchers. But thankfully my sushi faves (rainbow roll, salmon and avocado) are safe and decent on points! Remember that everything is in moderation, of course. Eating too much fish isn’t recommend. Also, sushi can get pretty expensive, fast!

I’ve been pretty happy so far on the PointsPlus plan. I was in great need of a change in diet. Like I say often, find those little things to keep you motivated. Weight Watchers has begun to help me, and now sushi is helping me stay motivated and satisfied! It sounds silly, but I’m trying to use it as a reward (or treat) for having a good week. So I work hard to earn it. Many fitness people say not to reward yourself with food, but I think it’s about finding the right reward and the correct intention. I may be rewarding myself with food, but it’s a healthy choice. The decision makes me feel good inside and out, and that connection is vital, when it comes to healthy living.

I hope you’ve had a good week! I’ll probably blog again this weekend and let you know how my 1st (ever) WW meeting went. Till then..

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the weight watchers beginnings

Day 3 on Weight Watchers. First day was a points blow out! Not because I ate horrible things, but because the point system is much different from just counting calories (which I’m use to). I had to learn quickly to stretch my snacks throughout the day. I was starving Monday night. Stuffed myself with chips and salsa. Yesterday, I did much better with spreading my snacks around and eating more fruits and veggies. However, I didn’t plan well for dinner and when I got to my mom’s house that evening, I was so hungry! I had 2 tacos (ground meat and cheese, 2 mini taco shells), and then two bowls of rice with meat and cheese. Not good.

Today, I can say I had an even better grasp with the food. Right now I’m feeling a twinge of hunger. I don’t like feeling hungry at home, in the evenings, because I don’t have things to distract me like work or workouts. One thing I am noticing with the new Points Plus system that Weight Watchers has, is that they’re really “forcing” you to eat more fruits and veggies to fill up (almost all fruits and veggies are zero points, it seems). Also, you can’t swap activity points like before. Now, you can only swap out activity points for food points until you run out of your extra weekly allowance points. No wonder people are losing more than ever on this plan! It’s completely geared to retrain your mind and body to eating right and exercising.

Speaking of exercising…I worked out today during my lunch hour for the first time, at the gym. I didn’t like feeling so rushed to change and eat my lunch (after my workout), but I did love the way I felt the rest of the work day. After doing home work with my baby girl, I changed into my workout gear again and did Jillian Michaels’ Yoga Melt Down. It was hard. It was awesome! I always start her videos scared because I know how tough she is, but I am always so proud to see how far I can go! What great motivation to see how strong you really are! By the end of the 30 minute DVD, I was drenched in sweat and even had that urge to puke a little. LOL  I did not puke…Thank God!

That’s my recap for the mid-week. I can feel the little wave of motivation. I like it. Pushing your mind and body is an amazing feat! And it’s definitely worth relishing and celebrating.

**I’m brand new to the Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan..so if you have any suggestions or corrections, help a sista out!**

3: a rant from a supposed hypocrite

Repentance. The simplest definition of repentance is to change direction. I’m going down one road; I realize I’m on the wrong road, and so I decide to change my direction toward the right road. I repented. 180-ed. Had a change of heart. So why does it feel that you’re a hypocrite for changing your mind? Everyone has the right to change their mind, right?

I’m battling this at the moment. My problem roots from today’s events at lunch. I went home to eat lunch. My daughter is home because she’s off from school. When she’s home my in-laws take care of her because my husband and I work full-time. She excitedly tells me that she is having fast food again for lunch today. She had Mc Donald’s yesterday for lunch, and today she’s eating Burger King. It made me cringe on the inside, but the child has to eat and I couldn’t take it out of her mouth.

Our family dynamic is quite peculiar, and because of that it has led my husband and I to take advantage of it in the past. Thankfully, my little one has grandparents who are ga-ga about her and take care of her. This has led us to leave her with them more than the “norm”.  Due to this fault, there is a big blur with authority lines, and leaves me feeling like a huge hypocrite at times. I can’t completely keep my in-laws from buying fast food if they’re all eating together. And I’m not becoming fanatical in saying that just because I’m trying to steer clear from the junk food that Andrea can never have it either.

So, what does this have to do with repentance? My change in diet has been for me alone. I’m the one that has to lose weight. However, the more I learn about food and the healthier I eat, the more I want to pass the knowledge along to my family. I repent from eating fast food everyday. I repent for being a junk food enabler to my husband. Now I want to repent for passing on such a horrible habit to my daughter.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am a wimp that runs from confrontation. I want to repent, but changing the rules from one day to the other feels hypocritical. What was that thing again about convictions? Not everyday is going to be perfect, and on this new journey there is going to be a lot of trial and error…BUT I can’t let other people’s opinions change my convictions or what I know to be best for my daughter.

I’m glad I write these things down, or I would never put my lessons into practice. Thanks for listening to my rant. I’ll let you know how this plays out.

10: 4 miles & 2 pieces of pie

Eeek! That title makes me feel so embarrassed, but I can’t lie! All things considered, I think I did pretty well through this Thanksgiving weekend. Thanksgiving Day I went for a walk. I ate just what I said I was going to eat. I even had 1 piece of pie, no ice cream! Yesterday, which was the official day of eating left overs, I picked on turkey and a merlition stuffing my mom had made. I woke up this morning, had a cup of coffee and made my way to the park. Thanksgiving day I only walked 1 1/2 miles. I pulled a muscle in my upper thigh, so I couldn’t continue. Today I pushed myself the full 4 miles I’m supposed to be doing. My shins are a little sore now. I’m going to give them a break tomorrow by working out at home with a circuit workout I printed out from http://www.fitsugar.com

Anyway… Like I was saying…I got my work out in this morning. When I got back home I had a very filling breakfast. The family and I went to the mall for a bit, and I had a chargrilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A, no fries, side salad please! I kept the wellness momentum going at dinner with a big salad, cauliflower and turkey. But then I looked into the frig and saw the yummy, home-made, Paula Dean pumpkin pie. A tiny piece wont hurt. So I served myself a sliver and a small scoop of Blue Bunny Vanilla ice cream. No guilt! However…it dawned on me, on the way to throw away my paper plate, that I didn’t have a piece of apple pie! I had to have a piece of  apple pie! And ice cream!! So I did. I didn’t have a very big piece, but this time I did feel bad. I still feel bad, but not from guilt, from belly ache. 😦 Booo…

Ah, the sugar temptation bested me this evening! Yet, I will not be ultimately defeated! Tomorrow is another day to say no to pie, and to work by butt off toward that size 14!

Say it loud! NO PIE ALLOWED!

5: it was a good day

After a busy weekend, Monday was almost welcomed. I was really waiting to see how my morning routine was going to translate here in Belle Chasse. I woke up around 5:30am, read my Bible and prayed. At 6am, I started getting ready for work. I had enough time to have a relaxing cup of coffee, get my lunch ready, even put on makeup before I walked out the door! 🙂

Needless to say, I felt real good this morning. Even though I had a bad food weekend, I was able to bounce back with no problem. I was ready to eat clean, I was prepared and I even was looking forward to getting to the park to work out. I did my 3 miles this evening. My trainer upped my mileage (I always stalled at 2 miles because I was scared. lol). She also instructed me to walk for 4 minutes and jog/run for 1 minute. Unfortunately, because I am so heavy right now it takes me walking 1 mile just warm up and stretch out the tendons in my knee. I don’t want to risk a set back because of an injury. So I just got to do what I got to do. I can’t jog too much just yet. It took me about 70 minutes to do the 3 miles, and I jogged 7 minutes of it. (NOT consecutively. I would die right now. lol)

Last week I struggled with the 3 miles and didn’t get my second wind till the end of the last lap. I definitely felt the burn and sweat quick today. It felt so good knowing that my body was warming up and burning up calories! I also upped my modified push ups from 10 to 15. I would like to see myself doing 20-25 push ups by Christmas.

I accomplished so many of my goals today, and it makes me feel like reaching higher tomorrow! God is opening my eyes to a lot of things; not only in His Word, but also about myself. He’s helping me connect everything about my life with Him, and that makes me feel less lost than I was feeling before. I pray that He keeps making me feel complete. As much as I want to lose weight and regain my self esteem, I don’t want to even believe that I can only feel complete in myself. I’m still trying to place everything in my “God box” than keeping Him separate from everything else…I’m praying for wisdom and more desire for Him.