when life gives me food, I eat it…and now to start over!

It has been a crazy 11 days.

Last Tuesday was my birthday (the 26th). I started celebrating on the 24th by going out to eat at this restaurant called The Velvet Cactus. It’s supposed to be Mexican, but it’s more of a Nola-Mex if you ask me. Food was decent, atmosphere real cool. Afterwards, we (husband, kid and friends) went down to:

The best Italian ice cream in New Orleans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had the banana pudding gelato...Oh my word….’Nuff said.

Monday, I took off from work and a friend of mine took me out for lunch. I had shrimp quesadillas with a chipotle aioli. I ate it all up! Tuesday, a co-worker took me out for Mexican. Wednesday I chilled out and actually made it to the gym. Then Thursday I went out with some of my girls to The Rum House and had more awesome tacos, fried plantains and a beer. It was all so yummy.

Sunday afternoon, me and the family left for a little vacation station on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I feel like I haven’t stopped eating! It was all so good and yummy…but I think I’m actually growing tired of food, for now. I had started a new 40 day round last week, but looks like I’m going to have to reset my modem. My belly is feeling so yucky. My body feels sluggish. And on top of all that I have a cold. So I’m going to spend the next 4 days trying to cleanse my body a bit.

I need some apples. I need to make sure I drink plenty of water. Which reminds me that I need to pick up some Tazo Zen tea. My body and tummy perk up so much when I drink it. No crazy purges here, but I do need to “re-align” my stomach (and my schedule). I need to do a lot of tweaking to my food, exercise and personal schedule again. I feel like I’m always telling myself this, but if I don’t make lists, plans and memos, I’ll never get things done. Time to get things back on track!

 

 

Advertisements

Life in 40 days, Part 1

Yesterday marked the end of Another 40 Days. These 40 day intervals are really working for me. For this post, I had the bright idea of posting pictures that I’ve randomly taken over the last 4o days. This way I don’t have to work too hard in trying to find motivation things to say. (Can you say, Lazy! hehehe) I am pretty sure that by this point in my journey, I can say Officially that this now my life style. I am choosing a resurrected life, in more ways than one! So here is a small view of what my life has been like the past month and a half! Enjoy!

1st day of this past 40 day round.

Going to work, feeling confident!

Strong enough to fight off this temptation! Honestly, who would eat something like this? lol

Enjoying a good workout outside before it gets too hot! I love this view.

Treats! And what a wonderful treat. My knees can actually support me in heels and platforms!! Relish the seemingly little things. They’re not so little!

Feeling tiny and looking it too! 🙂

I like to call them Shrimp Gondolas! Yummy, healthy food that helps make the journey a lot easier.

More treats! After a good workout: protein shake, shoes off, QUIET and a good book.

Finished product for this round. After 40 days I’m 4.5 pounds lighter! Yay Me! 🙂

mad crazy

It has been a crazy week for me, mad crazy week.

First off, I would love to report a 3 pound weight loss for this week! Talk about insanity! I, who can barely lose a pound on a good week, lost 3 pounds! I must say though, that it wasn’t without effort. I have been working out hard. I’ve been pushing myself on my walk/jogs on the treadmill or when I work out on the levee. I have been trying to walk 2 miles at or under 35 minutes. Plus, last Friday I not only did my 2 miles on the treadmill, I also did 3 miles in 20 minutes on the stationary bike, then came home and did 25 minutes of yoga! I may try make that a Friday ritual. I really enjoyed it.

Food-wise, I really haven’t been doing anything different. I’m still on Weight Watchers, so I keep track of my points or I do the Simply Full method. Simply Full is when you don’t necessarily keep track of points, but do eat as much food off the “power foods” list. Power foods are fresh/frozen fruits, veggies, lean proteins and grains.

However, if losing 3 pounds this week wasn’t crazy enough….I have been sick…I guess.

Friday or Saturday night the back of my head, around my left ear, felt tender to the touch. Though it kind of hurt, I just figured it was from all the headbands I had been wearing lately. I didn’t think much of it. Sunday night, I started feeling a worst pain. Now there was a pea sized knot behind my left ear. I went to work on Monday. The pain was mildly uncomfortable, but it was very uncomfortable to fall asleep. I couldn’t lay on my back because I would put pressure on the knot. I couldn’t lay on my side because my neck would stretch and a move the knot. It was not cool.

By Tuesday night, I was crying, praying… I didn’t know what to do. So I went to Urgent Care on Wednesday. Doctor checked my ears, nose and throat. Clear! I had no trouble swallowing. No fever. Blood pressure, good. My lymph node was swollen. Apparently, (I didn’t know this till recently) the lymph system is what flushes out impurities in your body. The lymph node behind my ear was trying to fight off a cold or a sore throat. Good catch, little guy! So, that’s why I guess I was sick..but not really. The doc gave me antibiotic/penicillin to take for 2 weeks clear out whatever was trying to attack me.

Yeah..mad crazy week.

real living

Bwahahahaha! With 16 days to go, it is needless to say that I wont be making my 8 pound goal. It’s all good though. Nothing wrong with reaching for the moon. Maybe I can do 8 pounds by labor day. As slowly as I lose weight, that is totally reasonable. I did lose 1.7 lbs. this week, though! Yay!

My goals need to become more reasonable, sure. In the meantime, I am enjoying the confidence that losing weight (and the work it is taking) is yielding. Beyond numbers, a healthy lifestyle brings about so much fun, enjoyable living! When I was in my teens, I was always the life of the party. I brought fun with me every where. After gaining weight and going through other personal blunders, who I truly was disappeared. Hence this blog! Thanks to God, I am finally seeing glimpses of the old me. Of course, older and wiser now, but I am still fun and can still be a life force of enjoyment for my friends! That to me, means more than 8 lbs lost in 4 weeks. This is real living!

 

On the sky deck @ the avenue hotel, Uptown Nola. Ready for a party!

 

At a girls night out, about 4(?) years ago, with Desiree “Hotness” Munoz-Grubb. Check out her blog http://www.operationhotnessblog.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

Resurrecting the girl & Operation: Hotness
It was a costume party..in case you’re wondering. lol

I am totally enjoying this life! Can’t wait to see what’s next!

.6

This was before my daughter’s swim lesson today.

 

I told you that losing half a pound is a good week for me. Twenty-two days left, and 7.4 pounds to go! Too funny. Oh well, it is what it is. Honestly, with no excuses, I didn’t do what I wanted for the first week. I completely forgot that my baby girl was starting swim lessons last week, and I didn’t plan my workouts ahead of time. I ate fried seafood like crazy over the weekend. So yummy, but definitely NOT what you should be eating when you’re trying to lose 8 pounds in 30 days.

.6 lost

I’ll take it!

With that being said though…I’m not quite sure how much I actually weigh. I’m getting numbers from all kinds of places. My actual weigh in day is Sunday, but I weigh in on Thursday evenings at my Weight Watchers meeting. Everyone knows that you weigh more at the end of long day! So even though it may reflect a loss, I can’t go by that number because it’s showing me at my heaviest. I don’t think so. There are two scales in our bathroom. One is my mother in law’s, the other is mine. Her’s is old. Mine isn’t so old, but it’s definitely time for an upgrade. I have had to take the average weight after weighing myself on both. Her’s makes me 2 pounds lighter, mine makes me 2 pounds heavier…and that’s if you can get an “accurate” number without ERR popping up on the screen. It’s a pain in the butt.

I weigh myself any time I see a scale. The average number is 198, but it would be nice to step on the scale and know for sure that the number is correct. I’m trying not to obsess over a number. (Too late, huh?) However, like I told my dear husband, I’m trying to reach a weight goal, and it would go a lot smoother if I could get a concrete NUMBER.

….

I started challenging myself in my workout, well, it’s a challenge to me. :-p I’m trying to walk/jog 2 miles at or under 35 minutes. For me that’s fast, and I’ve been doing real well. The last 2 times I worked out, I’ve done it under 35 minutes. First time at 33 min and today at 32 minutes! If I can keep that time up for a while, maybe next week I’ll shave off a minute.

So here goes week two! Come on 1 pound loss! I’ll leave you with this lovely picture of me working out, outside.

Working out on the levee. Attractive, I know!

 

 

time to focus, time to train

Okay, it’s “Eye of the tiger” time, people! I try to be goal motivated/oriented. I still have some time left in my 40 day round, however, I feel the need to stretch my mini goal a little further. This morning, when I woke up, I realized that my birthday is just around the corner. Thirty days, to be exact. And though I had a 7.5 lb. goal set for the end of the 40 days (June 19th), I haven’t been very focused on trying to reach that goal. I know that it’s time to kick it into high gear!

I discussed with my husband (some times it feels like a tribal council meeting) what would be a reasonable goal for me to set. So, I started wide and decided to narrow. Thirty days left till my birthday; 30 pounds in the 30 days? Extremely laughable. So, no. How about 15 pounds in 30 days? Still not possible and still a very unhealthy rate of weight loss for me. Next! Okay, 10 pounds in 30 days? Not bad, but at this point in the game, I have come to really know my body and the way it functions. I could not produce that number without some serious, serious help and time. Honestly, I know I’m still not that disciplined and I just want to live a normal life!!*sigh*

I got it! Eight (8) pounds in 30 days!

Okay, so 8 pounds isn’t much different from the 7.5 goal I had earlier. So, why didn’t I just stick with that number? Half a pound a week lost, is a great week for me. Rounding that 7.5 to 8 lbs is a challenge. Come on, 8 lbs. in 30 days, that’s 4 weeks. FOUR! That is 2 pounds a week. Ridiculous! So, yeah, I think I have my work cut out for me, people.

This is the plan: I have 30 days (4 weeks) to lose 8 lbs. by my birthday. To even come close to this, I must stay within my 30 daily Weight Watchers Point Plus Value. I cannot eat any junk food whatsoever, whether I have the points or not! I have to do cardio 5 times a week. I am going to be only drinking water, herbal tea and my 1 cup of morning coffee. No sodas, not even diet!…can’t handle the bloat. And even though I’m going to stay on top of my points, I will be challenging myself to eat 1 serving of fruit and/or vegetables at every meal. Fiber is your friend, people! 😉

One thing is for sure, I have to push myself. Even if I don’t hit the 8 lb. mark, 5 will get me into a size 16 jeans, with room to spare! But you never know what you’re capable of until you try. What do I have to lose by trying, other than weight and inches?

It’s gonna be a long 30 days.

another reflective & random thought

It has been a long weekend. I took a vacation day on Friday because my little one graduated from Kindergarten. Ugh. My baby (forever) is no longer a baby. I cried  a few times thinking about how much she’s grown already and how life just seems to whiz by. It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel excited for the future. It makes me feel, well, Old! But whatevs. My babygirl is now enjoying her summer vacation and is well on her way to college!

The more I think about her life passing before my eyes, the more it stresses within me to be a better example of a woman to her. I want her to see in me a healthy, energetic, smart, sane (as long as she let’s me be), and spiritually grounded person. It’s a hard task. By no means do I ever have a perfect day at any of these qualities I yearn to poses. However, as I teach her, I learn that you take every situation as it comes to you. Honestly, that’s what I want her to grasp. Life happens. It doesn’t ask for permission. So you have to take everything it throws at you with grace, humility and mercy (for yourself, and if you can muster it, for others as well).

I think that’s why this “dieting thing” has stuck as long as it has. I have learned to master, for the most part, self mercy. It goes a long way. Trust me. When you learn to have mercy on yourself, you can repent faster. When you learn to have mercy on yourself, you can start over again the very next meal. When you have mercy on yourself, you can see why it’s so important to pass it on to others.

…….

Thanks to that lesson learned, I am now down to 197.5 pounds. I’m hoping to be at 195 by the end of next week. I just have to survive another 3 day weekend. I am not yet prepared mentally to handle so much time at home, surrounded by all kinds of food, without having any activities planned. I told you the other day that I have a problem staying out of the kitchen when I’m bored….so I’m going to have to devise a plan this week before Memorial Day weekend catches me off guard! Any ideas?

 

turning my health journey into a spiritual journey (my battle with extremes)

**Just a little notice. This blog is long, and is preachy. So if it’s not your cup of tea, I wont be offended if you don’t read.**

Living a healthy life style is admirable. Losing weight can be inspirational. A journey of huge weight loss proportions is epic! It can be epic, and a little obsessive. I don’t know about you, but I struggle with extremes. Some thing becomes a super priority, and then everything else just falls by the wayside. I really don’t like that about myself. I know that it annoys the hell out of my husband. I just can’t help it! Or can I? …No, really. Can I?

I started this blog, not just because I was a miserable fat person, but because I was a person who struggled (and obviously still does) with extremes. I couldn’t just eat 1 cheese burger. I had to have 2 double cheeses burgers. It wasn’t enough that my body was telling me, “Stop eating you’re stuffed!” I was going to finish everything on plate, like it was my last meal. However, I wasn’t just dealing with food issues, I was dealing with spiritual issues too.

I am a born again Christian. I grew up in church, and when I was 11 years old, I got saved at a Vacation Bible School. I sang in church from age 11 till about 2 years ago. I was involved in youth group and the worship team. I love my church life, friends and family. I love God. That is a big part of who I am. Some where down the line though, I just stopped caring. I lost my identity. I have been feeling lost for a good while now. Now, not to get into a long testimonial, but I need to get right. If you read any of my earlier posts, I believe that they were deeply emotional and spiritual. I cannot separate those parts of me. My health issues where very much connected with my spiritual issues.

I give a lot of credit to my husband for helping me out, in my weight loss journey. He’s been supportive. He’s been real with me about my food choices and image distortions. I give a lot of credit to my best friend. She has also been supportive; guiding me, cheering me on and even yelling at me. This journey would have been a lot harder without them. However, and yes I will testify, the person I hardly ever give credit to is my God. He has given me wisdom. He had to remove a lot fear and doubt out of my heart. He had to give me the ability to see myself in a true positive light. I know I could have never done this without Him.

And yet, I continually try to keep Him out of it….but only when I feel that I can do it on my own. Give me a day when I feel ugly, huge as a house and lost in this world, and I’m yelling out “Help me, Jesus! I can’t do this without you!”

Remember, I have an issue with extremes. When I started this journey I was pitiful, leaning on God’s shoulder for every answer. I started working out and my body started getting stronger….Maaaannn, I became so obsessed with myself, it ain’t even funny. And what honestly makes me so mad and confused is, how can you make a journey that is you-you-you, day in and day out, about anything else? I stopped reading my Bible. I stopped praying. Well, not all together…of course I have to pray when I need something. *-*

So, I had to do what I knew I had to do. Repent. I had to repent because I was so self-centered. I had to repent because I didn’t believe God could do anything for me. That is raw truth. I DID NOT BELIEVE HE COULD HELP ME AT ALL! Why would the God of the Universe worry about me trying to lose weight? What could the God of the Universe have to say about health? I had to laugh at myself for such statements. Then I had to repent after I read this: But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he(me)has done has been done through God.–John 3:21 NIV

I have not been living in God’s truth. I have not being doing this weight loss thing completely through Him. Yes, God worries about our bodies and our body image, because He loves us and sees us with much more compassionate eyes. God could give me more insight into how my body works because, uh duh, He created it! *sigh*

So, to make a long blog short (sorry about that!), my next forty day challenge will not only be to continue with the external, but also focus on the internal. I have a long way to go in reconciling my body with my heart, mind and spirit. I belong to Jesus. So He deserves my focus, and in turn, I know He will reward me with wisdom and time to keep up with my body.

There is a little fear that I’ll drop all my health plans to pursue religious emotions. I don’t need to eat healthy or exercise. Jesus is all I need. I’ve done it before. And to get preachy once more, you honestly can’t follow Christ halfheartedly. He is an “all or nothing” God. So I cannot be a “some of the time” believer. So, how can I help it? By living out the journey, one day at a time.

the weekend so far

I went to my WW’s meeting on Thursday. I weighed in, and accomplished to lose 3 pounds last week. My body is finally adjusting to the new diet, but now that I’m working out again, like crazy, I am hungry all the time. I’m glad that Weight Watchers is so flexible. On top of my 32 daily points, I can eat from my 49 weekly allowance points or my activity points. I rack up so many activity points, though, that I never really have a chance to dip into that supply. It’s all good though. I would prefer to keep from burning through all my points.

Friday, I took off from work to go on a class field trip with my baby girl. They went bowling and for lunch we went to the park and hung out under a huge oak tree. It was a gorgeous day! The downside was by the time I got home I had to go into a Benadryl induced coma. My allergies can’t take all that pollen any more. 😦 I took a nap when I got home (from about 2:30-4pm), and then knocked out for the night at 8:30pm. I wasn’t sure if I would make it out of bed this morning, but 7am rolled around and I was ready for my morning workout at the gym. I concentrated on cardio this morning, and I worked out on the treadmill for 55 minutes. I jogged for 10 minutes (not consecutively!) this morning and bumped up my mph’s for the walking. I love the feeling you get when you can almost feel the fat melting off your body. “You gotta sweat it, to get it!” is my mantra right now…and, boy, did I sweat!

 

After my workout, I came home to eat my breakfast and got ready to take my baby girl to a birthday party. I can’t wait till school is over so we can catch a break from party mania. Today’s birthday party was at City Park in the Carousel Gardens. My kid loves the carousel. She could go round and round all day long! Thankfully, she didn’t. Once again, my allergies wanted to knock me out. However, this time, instead of taking 2 tsp of Benadryl, I only took one. Otherwise, I would be knocked out in my bed right now!

Anyway…what I really want to say is that I’m feeling good. I’m eating healthier than ever. And even though I still have ways to go, I’m lighter right now than I’ve been in a long time. I am enjoying where I am. Not planning on staying here very long, but I’m taking the time to just take it in.

enjoying the train ride and the weight loss ride.

the weight watchers beginnings

Day 3 on Weight Watchers. First day was a points blow out! Not because I ate horrible things, but because the point system is much different from just counting calories (which I’m use to). I had to learn quickly to stretch my snacks throughout the day. I was starving Monday night. Stuffed myself with chips and salsa. Yesterday, I did much better with spreading my snacks around and eating more fruits and veggies. However, I didn’t plan well for dinner and when I got to my mom’s house that evening, I was so hungry! I had 2 tacos (ground meat and cheese, 2 mini taco shells), and then two bowls of rice with meat and cheese. Not good.

Today, I can say I had an even better grasp with the food. Right now I’m feeling a twinge of hunger. I don’t like feeling hungry at home, in the evenings, because I don’t have things to distract me like work or workouts. One thing I am noticing with the new Points Plus system that Weight Watchers has, is that they’re really “forcing” you to eat more fruits and veggies to fill up (almost all fruits and veggies are zero points, it seems). Also, you can’t swap activity points like before. Now, you can only swap out activity points for food points until you run out of your extra weekly allowance points. No wonder people are losing more than ever on this plan! It’s completely geared to retrain your mind and body to eating right and exercising.

Speaking of exercising…I worked out today during my lunch hour for the first time, at the gym. I didn’t like feeling so rushed to change and eat my lunch (after my workout), but I did love the way I felt the rest of the work day. After doing home work with my baby girl, I changed into my workout gear again and did Jillian Michaels’ Yoga Melt Down. It was hard. It was awesome! I always start her videos scared because I know how tough she is, but I am always so proud to see how far I can go! What great motivation to see how strong you really are! By the end of the 30 minute DVD, I was drenched in sweat and even had that urge to puke a little. LOL  I did not puke…Thank God!

That’s my recap for the mid-week. I can feel the little wave of motivation. I like it. Pushing your mind and body is an amazing feat! And it’s definitely worth relishing and celebrating.

**I’m brand new to the Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan..so if you have any suggestions or corrections, help a sista out!**