augh! *sigh*

Ugh….I feel like Charlie Brown, so disgusted and frustrated. Is it just me? I mean, am I the only one that gets comfy and stops trying? What is that?!

Every 5 pounds lost is a battle to lose, and once it’s lost I have to wage another battle to get off my behind. I have to battle all my will. It is just so frustrating.

I have been at 195 for a while now, just kind of yo-yo-ing in fluctuation. I haven’t been working out, I don’t want to count Weight Watchers PPVs, I don’t feel like eating healthy. It’s a freakin’ war in my head right now between what I know I should be doing and what I feel like doing. Because honestly, I want to eat healthier and be fit…so what is that? What is going on?

It happens every time. I just can’t seem to convince myself fully to have faith in the process and have conviction to make the correct choices. All is not lost though I guess, if I still have a glimmer of desire to live a healthy life. I am not powerless, and I refuse to let myself fall into the lies of fatalism. I am not a fatalist! I have the tools. I have the knowledge. All I need now is the courage.

*sigh* Thanks for letting me get all that out there.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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the weekend so far

I went to my WW’s meeting on Thursday. I weighed in, and accomplished to lose 3 pounds last week. My body is finally adjusting to the new diet, but now that I’m working out again, like crazy, I am hungry all the time. I’m glad that Weight Watchers is so flexible. On top of my 32 daily points, I can eat from my 49 weekly allowance points or my activity points. I rack up so many activity points, though, that I never really have a chance to dip into that supply. It’s all good though. I would prefer to keep from burning through all my points.

Friday, I took off from work to go on a class field trip with my baby girl. They went bowling and for lunch we went to the park and hung out under a huge oak tree. It was a gorgeous day! The downside was by the time I got home I had to go into a Benadryl induced coma. My allergies can’t take all that pollen any more. 😦 I took a nap when I got home (from about 2:30-4pm), and then knocked out for the night at 8:30pm. I wasn’t sure if I would make it out of bed this morning, but 7am rolled around and I was ready for my morning workout at the gym. I concentrated on cardio this morning, and I worked out on the treadmill for 55 minutes. I jogged for 10 minutes (not consecutively!) this morning and bumped up my mph’s for the walking. I love the feeling you get when you can almost feel the fat melting off your body. “You gotta sweat it, to get it!” is my mantra right now…and, boy, did I sweat!

 

After my workout, I came home to eat my breakfast and got ready to take my baby girl to a birthday party. I can’t wait till school is over so we can catch a break from party mania. Today’s birthday party was at City Park in the Carousel Gardens. My kid loves the carousel. She could go round and round all day long! Thankfully, she didn’t. Once again, my allergies wanted to knock me out. However, this time, instead of taking 2 tsp of Benadryl, I only took one. Otherwise, I would be knocked out in my bed right now!

Anyway…what I really want to say is that I’m feeling good. I’m eating healthier than ever. And even though I still have ways to go, I’m lighter right now than I’ve been in a long time. I am enjoying where I am. Not planning on staying here very long, but I’m taking the time to just take it in.

enjoying the train ride and the weight loss ride.

33: losing steam…time to reevaluate

January has kind of slipped by me. My work outs and meals haven’t been as intense. I have accomplished some pretty amazing things these last 33 days, but it seems that just in the last few weeks I’ve lost steam. I don’t crave fast food any more. I love and get excited about working out. However, I can’t help but feel this sense of apathy. I didn’t work on my fitness challenge at all. That’s a goal busted. But before I go into another 40 day cycle, I’m going to take this last week to reevaluate my routines, workouts and meals.

I’m slowly and steadily losing weight; slow, steady and even. This next round I’m going to shoot for inches instead of pounds. I’m pulling out old routines and will get back to calisthenic basics. I’m seeing lunges, push ups and squats once again in my near future. My meals need to be planned meticulously once again. Basics, make sure I have my proteins, healthy fats and no carbs (bread, pasta or rice) after 3pm.

Funny. Getting back to basics has become a running theme in my entire life, right now. Knowledge is power, and advancement is wonderful, but we must beware of neglecting basic platforms, standards, foundations. Little cracks here and there can cause major damage! So stay focused, and check that the basic principles are still in check. Basics, though sometimes boring, build character and discipline. Proper weight loss and a healthy life style cannot be built without character and discipline.

I know that getting back to the basics will help keep the steam rolling and the energy pumping!

Keep the engine rolling!