real living

Bwahahahaha! With 16 days to go, it is needless to say that I wont be making my 8 pound goal. It’s all good though. Nothing wrong with reaching for the moon. Maybe I can do 8 pounds by labor day. As slowly as I lose weight, that is totally reasonable. I did lose 1.7 lbs. this week, though! Yay!

My goals need to become more reasonable, sure. In the meantime, I am enjoying the confidence that losing weight (and the work it is taking) is yielding. Beyond numbers, a healthy lifestyle brings about so much fun, enjoyable living! When I was in my teens, I was always the life of the party. I brought fun with me every where. After gaining weight and going through other personal blunders, who I truly was disappeared. Hence this blog! Thanks to God, I am finally seeing glimpses of the old me. Of course, older and wiser now, but I am still fun and can still be a life force of enjoyment for my friends! That to me, means more than 8 lbs lost in 4 weeks. This is real living!

 

On the sky deck @ the avenue hotel, Uptown Nola. Ready for a party!

 

At a girls night out, about 4(?) years ago, with Desiree “Hotness” Munoz-Grubb. Check out her blog http://www.operationhotnessblog.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

Resurrecting the girl & Operation: Hotness
It was a costume party..in case you’re wondering. lol

I am totally enjoying this life! Can’t wait to see what’s next!

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Mission 200

This Number is going to follow me wherever I go!

If you’ve been following me along, you know that I have been having some serious issues to stay motivated. I really fell off the health wagon hard, and it’s been real tough to get back on again. I’ve been dealing with my bouts of self-doubt and self-pity. Those are always so much fun. My weight has been fluctuating like crazy because of bloat, and my clothes are fitting tight, and I just do not want to go back to hating myself.

Yesterday, I took my daughter to a pool party. Thankfully, I did not have to get into the water. However, as I tried to pick out an ensemble, I stared blankly into my closet. Just a few weeks ago, I was going in there with confidence; now I am dismayed and heartbroken. Oh, how the mighty have fallen….

I confessed to my husband on Tuesday night, that I really just had no idea what my problem was. Why has getting down to 200 pounds been so difficult for me? Every time I have tried to lose weight, I get so close to 200 that I can practically reach out and touch it! Yet, when those last 4-6 pounds linger, something shifts in me. A wall goes up. And the pounds pack right back on. Maybe I just get too comfortable and lax. Maybe I get afraid.

I know that when I finally start getting some where, grasp a little confidence, that I go easy on myself. Let myself cheat here and there, till it’s practically all the time. I should know better, that when I get closer to the goal, that that’s the time to push harder! But I’m so afraid to fail. If you know me at all, you know that I’m a fatalist, and I really can’t stand that about myself. I see myself failing before I even try. It’s times like these that I know that I still have so far to go.

Well, as the saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And step I shall. I am restarting my 40 days (today actually), and taking the first step toward 200 pounds. Mission 200.

A Fatalist is anyone who submits to the belief that they are powerless to change their destiny. Is this who I am? I don’t want to get preachy, but I don’t want to submit to some insidious belief that has me pegged as weak and out of control of my life. If I am weak, I can grow strong. It is my destiny. My life. My body. My health.

So cue the music…because it’s on!