Life in 40 days, Part 1

Yesterday marked the end of Another 40 Days. These 40 day intervals are really working for me. For this post, I had the bright idea of posting pictures that I’ve randomly taken over the last 4o days. This way I don’t have to work too hard in trying to find motivation things to say. (Can you say, Lazy! hehehe) I am pretty sure that by this point in my journey, I can say Officially that this now my life style. I am choosing a resurrected life, in more ways than one! So here is a small view of what my life has been like the past month and a half! Enjoy!

1st day of this past 40 day round.

Going to work, feeling confident!

Strong enough to fight off this temptation! Honestly, who would eat something like this? lol

Enjoying a good workout outside before it gets too hot! I love this view.

Treats! And what a wonderful treat. My knees can actually support me in heels and platforms!! Relish the seemingly little things. They’re not so little!

Feeling tiny and looking it too! ūüôā

I like to call them Shrimp Gondolas! Yummy, healthy food that helps make the journey a lot easier.

More treats! After a good workout: protein shake, shoes off, QUIET and a good book.

Finished product for this round. After 40 days I’m 4.5 pounds lighter! Yay Me! ūüôā

time to focus, time to train

Okay, it’s “Eye of the tiger” time, people! I try to be goal motivated/oriented. I still have some time left in my 40 day round, however, I feel the need to stretch my mini goal a little further. This morning, when I woke up, I realized that my birthday is just around the corner. Thirty days, to be exact. And though I had a 7.5 lb. goal set for the end of the 40 days (June 19th), I haven’t been very focused on trying to reach that goal. I know that it’s time to kick it into high gear!

I discussed with my husband (some times it feels like a tribal council meeting) what would be a reasonable goal for me to set. So, I started wide and decided to narrow. Thirty days left till my birthday; 30 pounds in the 30 days? Extremely laughable. So, no. How about 15 pounds in 30 days? Still not possible and still a very unhealthy rate of weight loss for me. Next! Okay, 10 pounds in 30 days? Not bad, but at this point in the game, I have come to really know my body and the way it functions. I could not produce that number without some serious, serious help and time. Honestly, I know I’m still not that disciplined and I just want to live a normal life!!*sigh*

I got it! Eight (8) pounds in 30 days!

Okay, so 8 pounds isn’t much different from the 7.5 goal I had earlier. So, why didn’t I just stick with that number? Half a pound a week lost, is a great week for me. Rounding that 7.5 to 8 lbs is a challenge. Come on, 8 lbs. in 30 days, that’s 4 weeks. FOUR! That is 2 pounds a week. Ridiculous! So, yeah, I think I have my work cut out for me, people.

This is the plan: I have 30 days (4 weeks) to lose 8 lbs. by my birthday. To even come close to this, I must stay within my 30 daily Weight Watchers Point Plus Value. I cannot eat any junk food whatsoever, whether I have the points or not! I have to do cardio 5 times a week. I am going to be only drinking water, herbal tea and my 1 cup of morning coffee. No sodas, not even diet!…can’t handle the bloat. And even though I’m going to stay on top of my points, I will be challenging myself to eat 1 serving of fruit and/or vegetables at every meal. Fiber is your friend, people! ūüėČ

One thing is for sure, I have to push myself. Even if I don’t hit the 8 lb. mark, 5 will get me into a size 16 jeans, with room to spare! But you never know what you’re capable of until you try. What do I have to lose by trying, other than weight and inches?

It’s gonna be a long 30 days.

mommy reflection and a new goal

Today is Mother’s Day. I woke up this morning truly happy and truly humbled, at the very thought of knowing I am a mom. I am not at all a perfect mom, and some days I don’t even feel like a good mom. However, my baby girl has found it in her heart to love me incredibly and unconditionally! I must be doing something right!

I think what I love the most about being a mom, besides all the free kisses, are the times when I actually impart knowledge to my daughter. It is rewarding to answer questions and actually see understanding on her face. She is a big reason that I am striving to live a healthy life, a full life; because she is my life.

My daughter has never known me thin or even known me at a healthy weight. When I became pregnant for her, I was already 45 lbs. over weight. By the time she was a year old, I was in the 200’s. Now I’m 199. I don’t think she fully understands the magnitude of that. She sees me battle, she sees me win. Thankfully, to her, I’m just Mommy. And that’s who I want to continue to be. Losing weight is giving me more energy to do things with her. It is giving me extra time to be with her.

…….

I’ve maintained 199 lbs for a whole week! It’s a slipper slope, that number. You could go either way. So I’m ready now to keep breaking down the weight loss wall. I set myself a 7.5 pound weight loss goal for this 40 day round. I feel like it’s rather ambitious, but I think I can do it. I haven’t worked out in 2 weeks and was still able to lose 3 lbs. just dieting! I’m ready to crank it up. I said once I broke 200 I would begin working on changing my body composition again. Shooting to be in a size 14 by June 19th. My birthday is June 26th, so if I could be 190 by my 29th birthday I will celebrate BIG TIME! Wish me luck, okay! ‘Cause I’m going to need it!!!

Oh, happy day! 199

Yesterday morning, I stepped on the scale, and to my ultimate surprise it finally read 199 pounds! One Hundred and Ninety-Nine pounds, people! This is an epic moment for me. I have been in the 200’s for at least the past 6 years. I have gotten close to breaking the 200’s and have never fully succeeded until now! It is mind-boggling to me. Almost like, I have no clue what to do with myself. So, in celebration of Me, I will go and buy a dress.

I really have to give major props to Weight Watchers. I joined on April 7th, and it has worked so well in helping me get out of that slump I fell into in February. I haven’t been working out so intensely, as before. When I joined WW’s, I told myself that I would just concentrate on just dropping actual pounds (as a posed to losing inches, like before), and then once I broke 200 pounds I would go back to working on changing my body composition (back to focusing on losing inches). I feel like now that I have taken down a piece of my weight loss wall, I can bulldozer the rest. Now it is time to set another weight loss goal. My birthday is coming up in June, and I would like to be 190 pounds by then. I’ll definitely settle for 195 and couple of shaved off inches, though. ūüėČ

I have learned to be more creative with my food, when cooking. That has been a huge help for me. I want to enjoy my food, healthy or not. I love to savor my food. Eating is a total experience of all my senses. So, if you’re like me, don’t settle for only eating frozen diet meals! I eat those to if I don’t have time or don’t feel like making anything. However, I wouldn’t have made it this far alone on that! It’s boring, and sometimes not very good food.

Commercial time: What I love about Weight Watchers (and you don’t have to do WW’s to do this) is that you can eat anything. ANYTHING. So you have to decide what is worth to you to spend your points on. Before WW’s I had to decide what was worth to spend my calories on. If you’re not enjoying the food, you wont enjoy the process, and you will quit. I have had to experiment to make meals matter to me, and I have loved them! Here are a few. I hope that these may give you a few ideas, and if you have any ideas, please send them my way!

This was my breakfast this morning. I like to “splurge” on the weekend because during the week I drink breakfast smoothies.
1 large brown egg whole & 1 egg white. 1 tbs fresh salsa, piece of toast with goat cheese (it’s my favorite cheese!). A cup of strawberries and black berries, 8 oz of fat-free chocolate milk, and a cup of coffee (that I can’t do without) with a splash of milk, no sugar.

An apple & a plain turkey sandwich. What made it special for me was a nice slice of yellow bell pepper, gave it a good crunch.

I used a Morning Star chicken patty, 1 oz. goat cheese, 1/4 oz of avocado, red bell pepper and some spring mix. Colorful and creamy!

My baby girl loves tacos. So I substituted the hard taco shell for lettuce. Saves on points and calories. 2 oz. lean ground beef, 1/4 cup fat-free re-fried beans, 1/2 tbs plain Greek yogurt, a pinch of fat-free cheddar, and a few dots of Habanero sauce!

 

 

Same concept as before, but this time with 2 oz. of shrimp, grilled.

 

 

“almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades” OR “trying to keep a positve outlook”

I am the smallest and lightest I have been, in maybe 6 years. I was a size 18 for, at least, 5 years. I am now a comfortable size 16, and I am a Large in most shirts now. It is a good feeling. I love not feeling heavy. I love having more choices in clothes. I love feeling more confident and stronger.

And yet…..

I am upset that I haven’t broken through 200 pounds yet. I am upset that I keep bouncing between 201 and 203. I am upset that stupid brick wall of a plateau has built up. Yes, maybe I am stressing over it too much. Yes, I know that stress hormones keep weight on your body. I know. I know. But I am tired of being in the 200’s.

And now, as I am writing this it is dawning on me that I am no longer clinically obese. Woah! I am no longer obese. *palmface* How amazing is that?

So, the issue at hand is: where do you cross the line between motivation and obsession (which in turn turns into anxiety)? When is almost reaching a goal ok? It is easy to overlook small achievements, and weight loss journeys are a constant roller coaster of emotions. Keeping focused and in tune with reality is a must. Looking back, as much as looking forward, is a must.

I have come a long way in 6 months. Why would I take that away from myself? Over 20 pounds lost, stronger, faster, smaller, healthier…”Almost” is looking alright..

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Tomorrow, you’re only a day away…

Letting out a contemplative sigh, as I think about starting another challenge. Last week at Target, I bought a Fitbook. It’s a 12 week journal where you write out all your fitness and food goals. It’s a food and exercise journal in one, basically. I planned out my workouts for 12 weeks! I’m scared, to say the least. I’m happy to have a “real” food journal, but to set big goals, and then tons of mini goals seems so daunting. Of course all those dreaded What if’s pop up…

I’m going after it though. The Fitbook has me ending my 12 week journey in the early part of June. So, it’s nice to fantasize being all slim and sexy for my birthday. Another sigh…we’ll see what happens. I really don’t want to be a defeatist..which is exactly what I’m doing..but it’s so hard to think that you could actually accomplish something that you’ve been struggling for years now. Anyway…

I don’t want to be a “Debbie Downer”– so wish me luck! 12 weeks to a better me starts, tomorrow.

40: end of the 3rd round, a look back and a look forward

I am so happy that this round is over. I have found a lot of success, but I also encountered a comfort zone. I don’t want to get comfortable where I am because I know I have a long way to go. I’m ready to set some new goals! Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?

Making the choice to change!

All I can say about this first picture is, “Wow!” I am definitely not this girl any more. I went back and read some of my first posts on this blog, and I was so depressed and so lost. I am no longer depressed! I am no longer lost and depleted of hope. I have nothing but hope and confidence in my ability! That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days that are hard,¬† or that there aren’t times that I’m afraid about reaching my goals. I have just learned to no longer beat myself up and put myself down. If you continue down a road of self loathing, you’ll find yourself in a larger pit than you bargained for!

Seeing changes, the fire is burning!

Haha! This is the good stuff! I have to totally brag on myself! There are times where I can’t see or feel a difference, and these pictures say it all! “The proof is in the pudding!” I am so elated because in all my times of trying to get rid of the weight, I have never, never seen a change like this. I did this! I accomplished this! I keep these pictures as a reminder, not just of where I’ve been, but what I can do! However, I am ready to retire this shirt. I have found a new reference and motivational point.

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New shirt, new goals

This is the new picture that I’ll be making my comparisons to. I was given this shirt, almost a year ago now, and when I got it I couldn’t even button it! It barely fit in the shoulders and chest. Obviously, I can get it on with no problem. You can’t see it too much in this picture, but the buttons are the verge of popping off still. I like this picture (I can’t believe I would ever say the following) because you have a good shot of the belly bulge. It’s hard to attack that belly fat. I know it’s going to be the last to go. As long as it’s shrinking, I’ll be happy.

At the beginning of these 40 days I weighed 214.8 lbs. Today, I end the 40 days weighing in at 206.8 lbs! An 8 pound loss! A 16 pound loss in total! I did say in the last post that I didn’t want to focus on pounds this time, but with only six pounds to go to break 200 lbs….I can’t miss the opportunity to set goals to finally obliterate my clinically obese weight! Round 4 officially begins tomorrow, February 5th, and goes till March 15th. I can’t wait to see what I accomplish! I use this blog to motivate myself, but I always hope and pray that you can find some motivation in my success too. I know what it’s like to hate yourself. I know what it’s like to try and try and never see a result. But now I know what’s like to really work, take up responsibility and succeed! I can do it! You can do it! We can do it!

33: losing steam…time to reevaluate

January has kind of slipped by me. My work outs and meals haven’t been as intense. I have accomplished some pretty amazing things these last 33 days, but it seems that just in the last few weeks I’ve lost steam. I don’t crave fast food any more. I love and get excited about working out. However, I can’t help but feel this sense of apathy. I didn’t work on my fitness challenge at all. That’s a goal busted. But before I go into another 40 day cycle, I’m going to take this last week to reevaluate my routines, workouts and meals.

I’m slowly and steadily losing weight; slow, steady and even. This next round I’m going to shoot for inches instead of pounds. I’m pulling out old routines and will get back to calisthenic basics. I’m seeing lunges, push ups and squats once again in my near future. My meals need to be planned meticulously once again. Basics, make sure I have my proteins, healthy fats and no carbs (bread, pasta or rice) after 3pm.

Funny. Getting back to basics has become a running theme in my entire life, right now. Knowledge is power, and advancement is wonderful, but we must beware of neglecting basic platforms, standards, foundations. Little cracks here and there can cause major damage! So stay focused, and check that the basic principles are still in check. Basics, though sometimes boring, build character and discipline. Proper weight loss and a healthy life style cannot be built without character and discipline.

I know that getting back to the basics will help keep the steam rolling and the energy pumping!

Keep the engine rolling!

23: let’s do it!

I’m halfway through this 40 day cycle, and at times it has felt like, ‘same ol’ same ol’.”¬†Food and excercise trends are becoming habits, in a good way. And yet… I’m having an unsettling feeling at the moment. It’s a strange feeling of¬†“looking back”.¬† Not giving up, just kinda like…how can I explain it?

ūüôā¬†

The feeling kind of reminds¬†me of the Israelites in the desert. After a couple of weeks of being “stuck” in the desert, though totally free from slavery, the Israelites began to whine.¬†Paraphrasing of course, “Oh, how we miss¬†Egypt. The food, the meat, the veggies…” TOTALLY forgot about the back-breaking labor¬†FORCED upon them. I’m feeling a little that way now. “Oh, Wendy’s, how¬†I miss your double stacks. So tasty, so yummy…” TOTALLY forgetting the havoc¬†they¬†caused my stomach, how miserably bloated and¬†slow they made me.

Any¬†loss of focus, on the bigger picture, can cause us a temporary loss of¬†sanity. This is the time to be¬†the most cautious! Laser beam¬†focus is what is required.¬†I’m starting a 2 week challenge, to end these 40 days with a positive bang! For the rest of this week, I’m going to plan my¬†meals with precision, and work¬†out 6 times a week. No excuses to miss a¬†work out. I have not¬†joined a gym yet, and still go back¬†and forth on it. I know that I can do all my work outs at home or at the park. It’s time to get it right, get it tight!

Do what you must to stay¬†focused on your goals! You can do this! I can do this! Let’s DO this!

12: staying motivated

Seven days into the new year…How are you doing? What are you doing so far to make 2012 better than 2011? I’m still steady on my weight loss journey. Nothing exciting to report on from the last time I was here. I’m still trying to find ways to stay motivated, which I believe is one of my resolutions. I’m trying to keep my workouts interesting and fresh. I’ll be starting Zumba next week, which I’m very excited about. It’s a great way to get some cardio in, and it’s so much fun! Also, I started walking with some ladies from my office. It’s nice to have people to chat with while on the track. Some days I have trouble getting around the track just once. So talking and laughing is a good way to get my mind off how I’m feeling.

That’s the biggest reason I want to keep finding ways to stay motivated. Emotions are tough to battle. Not impossible to defeat, but definitely tough to battle against. I was thinking again this morning about my goals, and though I have weight loss goals, weight loss cannot be my ultimate goal. Because once you lose the weight, then what? I believe that’s the number one reason why people can’t keep weight off once they lose it. There is no next step. They achieved their goal and there’s nowhere else to go. I have come to love working out. It isn’t always fun, but I love the way I feel. I love feeling strong. I love feeling energetic. I love actually feeling lighter and smaller! Losing the 80 lbs I need to lose is only the beginning.¬† maintenance is the real journey! I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, though.

I love these 40 day rounds. Every 40 days I decide on a new goal, and in between those days I find myself making mini goals to accomplish. My goal for these forty days is to be a solid size 16. Not in between 16 and 18, but a straight up 16! So far I have one pair of work pants and a button down shirt that are a 16. They fit alright, still a little snug, but definitely wearable. I don’t look stuffed like a sausage! lol Right now for my mini goal I’m just trying to get off the 11 pound hump. I’m 211 right now. I want to be 210 by Tuesday! I’ve been eating pretty good and getting my workouts in, but I struggle staying motivated because I’m building muscle, so the scale doesn’t move very much. I keep trying to remember that weight is just a number, but when you’re trying to get down to a healthy weight, it can be frustrating a bit. So that’s where I am right now. Moving forward slowly but surely but moving!